Being Seen :: Tears

I took this photo this morning before I got up to get in the shower. I had just written a note to

myself of all of my fears and then, as invited in our Being Seen e-course, I folded it up so that

all of my fears were tucked inside.  As Brene Brown has taught me to do, I then wrote a 

permission slip on a blue post-it note, taped it to the top of my fears and held it to my heart 

along with a sweet little red heart that was close by.

When I was in daily mass a short while later, a ritual that comforts, blesses, and soothes me, 

and on my way to communion, I accidentally tripped and fell back onto the chair behind me. 

I am permanently on crutches and pretty solid on them so it was startling for me, and three 

women from three different directions rushed to me to see if I was ok.

While grateful for their concern to be sure, I felt embarrassed and also annoyed and frustrated 

with myself. One kind-hearted woman sensed my discomfort and warmly shrugged it off with 

a "it just happens sometimes" which was such a gift.

Returning from communion and sitting in my seat, I was surprised to have tears well. I reminded myself that this was a safe space and there was at least 10 minutes before mass was over so 

it was ok to let them fall. (hmmm.... tears well as I type). I think if I had been alone, I might've 

sobbed (we are headed to Texas for a short visit with my family later this week and work has 

been so tough for four months now with a new supervisor.  The transition simply isn't going
well for me). 

I had planned some errands after mass but was still pretty shaken up so I came on home and 

laid down. Afterwards, I looked at this picture and was surprised to see that in reality? 

The tears were already right there . . .

. . . here.

.              *               .