November Remembrance - Day 3 of 40

Annette and Susan are my husband's baby sister aunts

so it seemed right to include them together.

Annette was a month old when she died.

 Susan died in their dear mother's womb ten years later.

While we've never met,

I trust they both watch over both hubby and me

and I warmly welcome them 

into my circle of dearly beloveds

(where they belong).

.     .     .

Terri, a few years ahead of me in college, 

is a dear soul who played guitar and

who gave me a lot of the love I needed

when we in Newman club together.  

I am still so touched by one memory in particular.

After an emotional day at a weekend retreat,

we were sitting under the low-to-the-ground

wide wingspan of a sheltering tree, 

Terri's arm protectively, firmly wrapped around my weeping self.

She was a willing and wondrous container 

and in that moment I felt so tended, so held and so loved.

Looking up, I commented how it felt like 

we were under a protective mama bird's caring wing.

.     .     .

Ah, Mama Grace, 

you were already calling to me way back then,

weren't you?

So in a very real way, 

this trio is a Blessed Bridge to you

and all of my Auntie Angels.

Blessed be.

.          *          .

 

July 24 :: Black and White

Our last morning here for my beloved Uncle's funeral. 

(So, *so* grateful we came)

Black and White #2 

A walking bridge over the Arkansas River 

not far from the 

Clinton Presidential Library 

in Little Rock.

.            *           .

Gratitude for Bridges and Honoring Crossings

I drew this picture featuring a poem I wrote two years ago, not long after a painful (and very right) decision.  The imagery of a bridge had just come to me and was an especially powerful and so incredibly helpful metaphor (a lifeline, really) for me at the time.

As I thought about them and what they might mean, bridges spoke to me of Hope, which I was in desperate need of.  Right as I was leaving something behind that was no longer working for me, I deeply resonated with the idea of leaving where I had been to cross over a bridge into a new place in my life.  While circled in grief and fear, and feeling very alone, the other side was calling out to me with promises of refreshment and new growth.  Alls I had to do was to step onto the bridge.  At first my steps were heavy and awkward and slow.  But, with practice, patience, and persistence, they became more steady and sure.

With time, as happens in life, it felt right to turn the page in my art journal and continue on in other areas of my life, too.

A few days ago the timing felt right to take a moment to turn back to my picture and sit with it, basking in and honoring my journey of the past two years.  I took this photo including my feet and crutches on Friday morning as a way to acknowledge Grace and Peace, and the few kind angels (human and spirit) lighting the way ... my way .... across the bridge.

Smiling softly because as I take the time to remember and honor my pilgrimage today, I am also intentionally and ever-so-gently reaching back to that battle-weary, grief-stricken, and fear-soaked woman I was.  As I do so, I am tenderly whispering in her ear, "yes, dear-heart, leaving was exactly the next right thing and I'm here to let you know that you will survive what felt so unfathomable and very brave (because it was) at the time.  Promise."  

(hmmmm.... tears)

Yes.

  

After taking a few pictures like this one, I wondered if it wouldn't speak to me more if I was standing on the other side of the bridge so I turned my art journal around and snapped a few more photos.  In the end, it just didn't feel right.

And now I know why.

With my photo framed the way it is here, I see (and feel!) very clearly the me of today standing firmly behind and supporting the struggling me of then.  This picture speaks to me on so many levels of my taking my place among the angels and wise souls that were there for me during An. Excruciatingly. Difficult. time.

(I love that about faith and mystery .... 

it isn't tied to chronological time at all!)

Smiling softly because it also reminds me of how, more and more, the little girl who still lives inside my heart is able to lean back on the me of today in complete trust.

Yes. 

This is exactly the way my photo is meant to be.

It's such a gift to take some time today to bask in gratitude 
for how far I've come and honor where I am now.  
 I am thankful for your witness. 
(and kind words are always welcome)

❤️

Before closing I'd like to add that, once again, I am so, So, *SO* very grateful for the encouragement and role modeling to practice seeing and loving myself thru selfies!!!  Gracious, who *knew* what a difference that could make!!

 .              *              .

A Rustic Bridge and Her Wise Lesson

(photo credit)

As I've mentioned before, having recently headed off in a very different direction in my life, bridges have become an important companion and teacher for me.  Seeing this one at Killing the Vampyre, I was immediately drawn to it and I am so grateful for Dawn's kind permission to use a copy here. 

I love it's beautiful surroundings and what I'm most struck by is the dry creek bed it crosses and rustic shape it's in.  From here, the actual path of the bridge looks steady but I'm a little less certain about the rickety-looking handrails.  Smiling because, if I were out for a walk on a lovely fall day, I think I would "need," she says with a twinkle, to walk across this bridge. 

But if I were to come across her at night and/or during a storm?  I think, especially considering my constant crutch companions, it would be most wise for me to take a pass on crossing this bridge in that moment.

For me this is a timely, poignant, and welcomed reminder about the importance of using the gift of discernment.  I want to intentionally take the time to care-full-y consider my circumstances, the weather, and my abilities when choosing to cross a particular bridge in any moment.  

And, perhaps, as in life, not every bridge that presents herself to me is meant to be a part of my journey.

(This is me, trustin' that just showing up is Enough)

.     *     .   

Seed of Detaching with Love

(photo credit)

When I first saw 

this beautiful picture,

I stopped.

It was good to 

allow the resonating

beauty, truth and wisdom 

to wash over me.

I'm so drawn to this bridge 

and the gentle reminder 

that sometimes?

I just need to walk away.

 

As I take my light with me,

holding up my umbrella,

it is possible to leave in love   

(or kindness if that's all 

I can manage in the moment),

and trust that this is Enough.

.     *     .

I am thankful to the folks at Soulseeds for 

graciously granting me permission to use this photo.

Beautiful Bridge

(photo credit)

"Keep all special thoughts and memories for lifetimes to come.
Share these keepsakes with others to inspire hope and
build from the past, which can bridge to the future."
~ Mattie Stepanek

Bridges have special meaning for me right now.

I've been walking in a new and different direction over the last several months and I'm finding the image of a bridge comforts and teaches me. 

I'm coming to appreciate how a bridge must be strong and faithful in order to remain standing while water rushes under her and she bridges the gap from one side of the river to the other.  When I come across a bridge these days, each one gently, calmly reminds me that as my path continues to lead me away from some familiar (and very beloved) parts of my life, my journey really isn't ending.  I am simply standing on a bridge and have started a fresh, new beginning to another place.

Smiling softly because the peaceful bridge above touches and calls to my heart in a very special way.  It reminds me that the journey and the future can be very beautiful indeed.   It inspires me because if my future is that beautiful, I *want* to keep walking.  :)

The wise quote above reminds me that I will always have my memories of what was and I can take my fond keepsakes with me into my future, sharing them with my fellow travelers.  Smiling softly because I know my past's treasures inspire hope in me, too.

I am grateful for Shirley at Shirley's Creating for her kind permission to use her photo.  I discovered her lovely blog when we both were participating in Effy Wild's 30-day Blog Along last month.

.     *     .