Bitter Teachers

Bitter ones are Teachers.

No doubt about that one.

Still.

And.

It is crucial that you protect 

the Cave of your Heart, dearest.

When you know they just like to "debate"

(read:  argue)

and push buttons?

Set boundaries and don't engage.

You can trust your gut that what he's spouting is Bullshit.

It would be very different . . . 

there would be more marbles in his jar . . . 

(those must be earned, you know)

If

(and that's a mighty big "if")

he was respectful

and used care

about what he posts on his personal Facebook wall.

As it is, he shares mean meme's

and hunts people down who 

disagree with him 

and tries to bait them into 

"discussions."

That isn't your intent 

and, deep down, 

we both know it.

(Is your opinion that important,

that integral a part of you?

Are you that fragile that 

All Must Agree 

*with you*?)

Nah, I'm gonna pass.

.               *               .

Breathe September 2017 :: Day 1 - Light

Guiding Lights

#BreatheSeptember2017

.          *          .

Workday Break = Breathing Space

.           *             .

Follow Grace . . .

. . . with my face, 

(Just like a beautiful Sunflower does.)

🌻

.             *           .

A Gift of Grounded

Before I begin my story, I want to tell you that my word for this year is Grounded. 

.          *          .         *          .

I was so delighted to learn that signing up for a year of Talisman of the Month Club meant 

that I'd receive a soap stone bowl to hold all of my talisman. Knowing Liz intentionally 

chooses what she sends to each person, I practiced Trusting that the color of my bowl would 

be just right. 

Still, she adds with a twinkly grin, I was hoping for a lovely deep pink or beautiful turquoise 

blue.

When my box arrived, part of me wanted to tear into it right then. Instead, since I was headed 

for work and wanting to give myself the gift of receiving my package intentionally, I waited. 

Turns out, the anticipation was indeed delicious. When the time finally arrived I settled into 

my chair and took my time with each little envelope and discovering the treasures tucked 

inside. Opening the little muslin bag and finding this month's talisman, I'm sure I must have 

purred (just as I did again just now).

Kind, Brave and Curious? 

Yes. 

After putting my hand to my heart, closing my eyes, and whispering a little prayer to Trust 

the process (and Liz), I care-filledly unwrapped the deep purple tissue paper and found this 

soap stone bowl. When I first saw it, my heart fell a little bit because truth be told, the color 

Orange has never ever really been one of my favorites.

Gently noticing my disappointment and tenderly encouraging myself to Be Kind, Be Brave, 

and Be Curious, while I wasn't sure about the middle, I reminded myself that I do so love 

hearts and the swirls around the edges reminded me of the Valentine's Day roses sweet 

hubby had just given to me a few days before.

As I sat with my chosen-just-for-me bowl here next to me for the next few days, it dawned 

on me that Orange has actually been showing up in a few different places for me lately. It 

started when I was making a small quilt for a friend 8 weeks back and orange wanted to 

be a part of it. "Orange?!" I surprisedly thought to myself. But as I tried different fabrics, 

I knew. 

Yes, Orange. 

A couple of days ago in looking around at my little corner from the vantage point of my 

chair, I noticed that the sweet popsicle frame, a handmade Christmas gift from my darling 

6-year old niece has 2 lines of orange washi tape on it. And the "You are my Sunshine" cross 

stitch picture made for me by my goddaughter (her first project!) last year? Most of her 

stitching is in Orange. Sitting next to it is a gift from a dear friend from several years back, 

such a cheerful picture with a lot of Orange in it as well.

Ok. So now I really *was* Curious and googled "which chakra is Orange?" As you already 

know, Orange is the color of the sacral chakra. 

Interesting how I keep reading it as the "sacred" chakra. 

I learned this color represents my pelvis and gut feelings, "the centre of being through 

which we connect with the deepest voice of the self, the deepest stillness and wisdom".

And when I think about having bone cancer in my hip as a teen and that my crutches 

are permanent... so it literally has been hard for me to physically stand my ground at times

and sometimes in my truth... and remembering that we really do work thru things in a 

spiral - hey! like the spiral in the middle of my bowl! - and realizing that the center of my 

heart bowl feels like my heart, especially when I'm gently holding it in my hand, like in 

my photo....

Hmmmm.... this is feeling more and more right.

  

So maybe, just maybe, she adds with a twinkle, I received the perfect bowl for me after all! 

Smiling softly as the truth is 

I have become quite attached 

to my Orange heart 

and I wouldn't want any other.

Well lookie here, she says with a warm smile.

A gift of Grounded. 

Blessed be.

.           *              .

SaveSave

Savoring January Day 20 :: Listen

Taking time to intentionally listen to wisdom 

(both external and internal) 

this morning 

while practicing Peace 

and Grounding myself in the presence of angels. 

💕

"I can't feel your feelings for you. I can't think for you. I can't behave for you. I can't work 

through the disappointment that limits bring for you. In short, I can't grow for you; only 

you can."

"Boundaries" 

by Cloud & Townsend, pg 86

#SavouringJanuary2017

.          *            .

Prayer Partner

❤️

.                *                .

August Break :: Yellow

"Live courageously in the arms of Grace." 

~ Bonnie Jensen

This precious plaque's place is behind my chair so, while it may not register every single 

time I face it before turning to sit down, it's quiet wisdom is always there, ready and 

waiting to softly shine the way home. 

💛

#augustbreak2016 

.              *              .

Present Over Perfect

45 pages in and I already love it. 

Off to tuck into bed and read more. 

Nightie night. 

💕

#presentoverperfect 

.               *              .

Cultivating Enough :: Day 8 :: Boundaries

Years ago a wise one, who knew and loved me well, made the keen observation that my eye 

for detail is so well tuned that I notice details without even realizing it. She said that the 

things I notice are just "there" for me (so it's not something I'm seeking out) and that most 

of the folks around me simply don't see what I see. (And so they are able to let them go, 

sometimes a whole heckuva a lot easier than I am).

I've noticed lately that, once again, I've been tempted to pull off my path and get stuck in the

ditch ruminating about what I'm noticing that could be improved, especially at work. Smiling 

softly because with my wiring and conditioning, this one may be a lifelong journey for me so 

even that becomes a practice. Can I be gentle with myself when noticing this old pattern 

coming up in me again?

I am growing quite fond of this mug and it's quirky little angel playfully reminding me to 

"Water Seeds, Pull Weeds" and so I'm asking her to be my guide and teacher in the next 

little while.

I want to focus on what is going well and water those seeds rather than getting stuck in the 

weeds, *especially* those I can do nothing about, simply don't have the time, energy, or 

patience for, and/or are not mine to tend to.

It dawned on me this morning (so I had a spiritual awakening) that it really comes down to intentionally practicing my word for the year, Abide. By making a conscious choice (again 

and again if need be) about *where* I want my attention, dear heart and beautiful soul to 

Abide, and then honoring my choice, I am setting and holding internal boundaries.

Of course, there are times when weeding needs to be done. I just want to use care and be 

mindful of when I might be stuck in a ditch, overgrown with weeds. So a playful example 

would be, "Whoops! That's a weed, Deb, not a seed!" 

With the help of my Gardening Angel, Mama Grace, Auntie Mercy, Hope and Peace, may I 

become a good winnower, one who is learning the art of separating the seeds from the weeds.

#cultivatingenough

.              *             .

Cultivating Enough :: Day 2 :: Ritual

Everyday before I start my work day I always fill my cup with water 

and then I like to take a few moments to fill my spiritual cup 

by quietly reading a wise blessing, quote, and/or poem 

(or two or three). 

#cultivatingenough

.              *             .

Trust (in) Grace

The core values that light my way.

#livingbrave

.          *           .

Breathing thru the "Triggered" . . .

. . . and wanting, 

trying 

to remember 

to trust.

.          *          .

An Inspiring Quote - April Love 2015

.           *           .

A Love Letter to Debbie Jo

(me, 4 years old)

Dearest Debbie Jo,

Yes, wee one,
still alive and well,
and watching from
inside my heart . . .

She's gone.

And I *know*
it scratches at
some tender,
broken places.

(How on earth could it not?)

But this time?
It's different.

I know, my love.
It's hard to believe,
when the feelings
and the memories
are so present.
Big, yet *almost*
imperceptible.

But it really is
.  .  .  true  .  .  .

I, the woman,
Debbie Grace
am here now,
 .   .  too   .   .

You are no longer
.  .  .  alone .  .  .
That precious child,
.  .  abandoned  .  .
by her beloved Moma
at a time when you
so desperately needed her.

It *was* devastating,
no doubt about that.
But that all happened
a lifetime ago.
(dropping to a whisper)
It's over now, my sweet.

So cry the tears,
bottled up for years,
aching, *needing* to be shed.
This is how healing spreads.

And when you are ready,
as best you can,
come back
.  .  (((home)))  .  .
to *this* moment.

Intentionally take the time
to look around and see.
Nesting in the safety of the
warm, encircling sea.

I am here
Mama Grace is here
Auntie Mercy is here
And, lookie right over there ...
Sisters, Enough and Hope,
are keeping watch, too

Gently wrap yourself
in our tender care,
watching as each one
joins her love with
that of all of the other
so-honored-to-be-yours mothers.

Moma, who can
now love you as
she yearns towards you
from her perch in heaven.

All of your grandmothers . . .
by blood,
by marriage
and by heart.

Trust that we all
love you very much.

Raise your weeping eyes
and look to us,
listening and receiving
our crucial words of
blessed affirmation.

As I gently
cup your face,
close your eyes
and lean in,
trusting each one's hand
covers mine
as we
. . . . . all . . . . .
send love and healing
to those deepest,
aching scars.

You're ok, Little One.

And this wave of grief?
It will pass.
Just like all of the others have.

I promise.

All my love,
Debbie Grace
who is still trustin' in Mama Grace, Auntie Mercy, Enough, and now Hope

.           *           .

Oh, if These Walls Could Talk

Oh, if these walls could talk

They would softly explain

How they once were erected

To ease her heart’s pain

“Keep the hurt out!”

She sobbed and she cried

And the walls did enfold her

Safe-keeping inside

Honored to offer what

Shelter they might

A deep fondness grew

For her beautiful light

And over the years,

As they steadily stood

Her healing began

And it was so, so good

Safe in their shadow

She came to realize

Walling off hearts will,

In time, paralyze

Learning and practicing

New skills they both knew

The time was now nearing

To bid fond adieu

And when that time came

She tenderly whispered

Heartfelt thanks

To her caring shepherds

Faithful guardian,

Beloved intercessory

She would never forget

Her kind emissary

~ Debbie Grace

.       *       .

A Guide to True Hope

The pessimist complains about the wind.

The optimist expects it to change.

The realist adjusts the sails.

~ William A. Ward

This new-to-me quote was shared on Facebook this morning.  It resonates deeply, I'm sure in large part because I grew up in the every. single. day. winds of the Texas Panhandle.  Coming off the Rockies with nothing to break or stop them, the winds were strong and often felt oppressive.  So I *know* from the tips of my toes how constantly relentless the wind can be and also how it feels to fight (and hate) it.  Smiling softly because when it's windy here in Georgia, I will often emphatically say to anyone who will listen, "I do Not miss the wind."

The quote above feels like a practical guide map, helping me to navigate *how* to find and trust in True Hope.  I must simply (not necessarily easily) practice basing my responses on what I feel, sense, and know ~ the truth as she shows herself to me in this moment.

While they, too, can be informative, I want to use care with complaining and expectations as navigational tools because they can lead me on the path to false hopes.

.     *     .

Let it Be

It's not a matter of letting go -

you would if you could.

Instead of 'Let it go,'

we should probably say

'Let it be'.

~John Kabot-Zinn

I love this quote so much.  It feels affirming and like supportive nourishment.

So rather than letting go of false hopes, perhaps I can focus on letting them be as I join in the dance with authentic and real Hope.

Yes,

.      *      .

Hope ~ My Guiding Star for 2014

Link to Hope Star

Playing with my word for 2014, Hope,

and Tagul Word Cloud this morning.

Trust is an old, dear friend 

so it brought a warm smile to see her

stand out, reminding me to 

Trust Hope.

Here's to a good year.

.     *     .

Let it Be

"It's not a matter of letting go ... you would if you could.  Instead of "Let it go," we should probably say "Let it be." ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

Smiling softly because "let it be" feels so much more gentle to me than "let it go" and I'm finding it much ease-ier for me to work with, too.

A friend used to say that "let it go" felt like dropping something that was of deep concern to her and that it meant that she no longer cared (or was allowed to care).  For her, "turning it over" to her Higher Power worked much better. 

It sure made a lot of sense to me when she said it and what a great reminder that different phrases will work for and fit better for each of us.

I discovered Jon's wise quote yesterday morning when things were still going well.  Then, as sometimes happens, things took a downward turn and I had an opportunity to practice letting it (and me) be.

(This is me, trustin' that just showing up is Enough)

.     *     .