Savouring January - Day 17 - Feel

Today I feel the quiet Joy of contentment. 

It’s a snow day so my cute hubby 

has been working from our kitchen table 

and I’ve been baking Grandma’s Honey-Oatmeal bread 

and working on our Epiphany letter.

Blessed be.

#SavouringJanuary2018

.          *         .

Savoring January - Day 6 - Now

With it being Epiphany, 

today is all about the fellas. 

So grateful for their annual reminder to follow the Light. 

🌠

Air Fryer experiments are still going well!

Delivery man was kind and helpful

so that was nice.

#SavouringJanuary2018

.             *             .

Trustin' in Grace and in The Wisdom of the Body

So I had a Lent themed book picked out but when it came time to order it, I was having 

trouble finding it. When a copy finally arrived on Tuesday, some of the pages are so messed 

up in places that I can't make out all of the words. While disappointed, after sitting with it 

for a bit, I knew.  It will need to be returned.

In the midst of all of that planning, this preordered book quietly arrived a couple weeks back. 

I remember smiling when I opened it to see more orange, and both the title and cover spoke 

to me. I then set it aside with a promise to return to it... later.

After reluctantly giving up on my first choice for a Lenten companion, I picked this one up 

last night and started reading.

And lookie what I found just in the intro of this book that so clearly chose me:

"You are beginning the long and beautiful journey home."

"The body speaks truth if we would only learn how to listen."

"... the body calls us fully present here and now."

..

Ah, she says as a wide smile spreads, if practicing Grounded means to practice being 

fully in this present moment, doesn't that mean being fully in my dear body as well?

Yes. 

🍊

#grounded2017

.            *             .

Epiphany Blessings

I've written a holiday letter for about 20 years now. I enjoy the whole process of writing

the letter and mailing it to people I love, most of whom I've been sending Christmas cards 

to for even longer than that. Smiling because I have several fans who have told me that they 

look forward to my letter in particular every year.

My busiest time of year at work now falls in November and December and, between that 

and my biggest grief anniversaries falling in December, I found that it was just getting to 

be too much.

And yet abandoning it all together just never felt right.

About 4 years ago, the Graced idea of sending my love letters at Epiphany dawned and I've 

mailed them In January ever since. In fact a couple of years ago I had the space to write our 

letter in December. But when I tried that idea on? I smiled and thought, "nah, I'll stick with 

my new, cherished tradition instead."

Another thing I love about it is, in some traditions, folks bless their homes at Epiphany time. 

The idea of tucking in love for my dear ones and also a little blessing for their homes as well 

gives me great joy.

Plus! The word Epiphany means having a new insight break through and the magi were 

following a star (a part that I especially appreciate) and that still small voice inside. 

What a great holy-day to celebrate! 

 ❤️

.           *           .

Heber Springs Bound

When my Uncle Tom died I had a real sense that I needed to be there for his funeral.

Not only is he very special to me,

I am so *hungry* for stories of our family 

and, 

with my Moma dying almost 20 years ago, 

I can no longer ask her.

But.

 I can ask her siblings.

So off we went.

A piece of our rental car's trim came loose so made an unexpected stop to get it fixed. 

The Arkansas line snuck up on us and we missed it!

The moon followed and watched over us throughout our whole trip.  Good thing. A critter
ran out in front of us and hubby wasn't able to miss it. So that piece of trim that came loose
on our rental car earlier and we stopped to have it fixed back in Birmingham?  Well, it's
loose again.

But under her watchful eye, we made it safe and sound. 

.      *      .

And the Deer (Angels) continue to show up.

Smiling warmly because when I called our insurance company earlier this week to adjust 

our coverage to include our rental for this trip, the kind agent said that, as we'd been talking,

she'd been watching a sweet little fawn outside of their office window!

Then, our trip in had several glitches ... all more on the smallish side but had to be worked 

thru before we could continue on ... and we pulled into the hotel at 12:52 a.m. this morning 

(1:52 a.m. our time). Not too long before we arrived here, a doe crossed the road in front of 

us. 

As I sat resting in a hot bath this morning, a fond smile spread. What if all of the "glitches" 

were timed so that this dear little one would be crossing the winding country road at just the 

right time?

Indeed, it appears that all is well.

.           *             .

Grace and Mercy Dogwood

The wonderful surprises continue! Catching my breath as I came upon the Twins this morning, feeling delighted to see they had flowers on them, I thought to myself, "they bloom?!?!" I 

pulled right into this parking lot I drive by every weekday but have never actually been in. 

As I got out of my car, my heart went pitter-pat to realize they are *Dogwood* trees!! One of 

my very favorites! 💕

Affectionately naming them after one of my all time favorite quotes (see below) seems right 

so the front one, with beautiful white flowers, I shall call Grace and the back one, with beautiful 

pink flowers shall now be known as Mercy.

Their flowers have almost all gone but that they held on until I noticed? Well, that means the 

world to me. Smiling softly because this felt like the perfect day to get close to them. 💕

                                           "Mercy and Grace are really sisters. 

 They're not identical twins 

but they are very close sisters, nonetheless. 

 They are almost constantly found together 

and if one is encountered by herself, 

the other is not far away."

~ Philip Edwards

(And then later in the day?, she adds with a grin, I remembered I knew this about them but 

had forgotten sometime before I started their weekly photos last fall 🙃. I'm actually ok 

with this because today's surprise felt like a true gift of soul refreshment.)

.              *             .

Abide and Trust in Love

The beautiful foursome of charming angels was my favorite Christmas gift from hubby this 

year and they are circled around, ever-so-gently leaning over, my sweet little red oil lamp, 

bought at a lovely Grist Mill turned pottery shop about an hour's drive away from here.  (If 

you follow me here, you'll know that it was "rent" for time spent in my favorite porch swing 

away from home.  You may already know this story, too.)

This beautiful tableau has been gathered since Christmas day. Smiling because it didn't take 

long for me to realize, 

Oh!!! 

So *this* is what 

Abide, 

my word for this year, 

looks like for me..... 

intentionally placing myself 

in the midst of cherished beloveds 

and allowing them to tend and love me, 

while practicing trusting that they want to. 

All that is required of me in that (this) moment 

is to rest in their caring presence.

For this?  

I am deeply grateful.

.             *              .

Abiding in Grace

I've been walking thru a pretty tough ol' time for awhile now.  Along with some old grief 

surfacing in an unexpected and fiercer way than usual, I have a new supervisor who's trying 

to force (and hotwire) a closeness between us.  Smiling softly because this is actually a pretty interesting turn of events.  Usually it's been me who's longing and, yes, pushing for more 

closeness.  

While I know in my heart of hearts she means well (just as I always did) and I do have hope 

that, in time, we will find our way to a good working relationship, the reality of right now is 

I'm finding it all smothering, frustrating and extremely draining.  Plus I've been triggered a 

lot lately which has just added to the painful difficulty of it all.  This is so not how I want to 

show up. 

Still, I'm quite clear that my resources are very limited right now and that my hands are full 

tending to my own weary and grieving heart.  In a way it's a gift that I'm so spent, making it 

easier for me to truly understand and accept that, messy and imperfect as it all is, I just don't 

have any room on my plate to take care of her, too.  So, as best I can in each moment, I gently 

remind myself that it's ok to let all of that go for right now. 

What I also know is I took care of my Moma in an unhealthy way and this is an opportunity 

to practice saying some important and firm "no's" that I wasn't able to when I was younger.  

This is a skill I want and need in my life and the only way I'm going to learn it is to practice.    

Today I wanted to continue feeling calm and supported after yesterday's lovely dental visit.  

It was *amazing* to me how much time spent in the presence of a kind angel in human form 

helped to shift things for me. 

This evening, I spent some quiet time in meditation, being still and Abiding in Grace.  

(Abide is my word for this year and Grace is my fond nickname for my higher power.)  

It warms my heart so much to see my face so relaxed.  

Ah, so maybe all of this really will pass, too. 

And, maybe, just maybe it already is.

May it be so.

.            *            .

Cultivating Enough :: Day 8 :: Boundaries

Years ago a wise one, who knew and loved me well, made the keen observation that my eye 

for detail is so well tuned that I notice details without even realizing it. She said that the 

things I notice are just "there" for me (so it's not something I'm seeking out) and that most 

of the folks around me simply don't see what I see. (And so they are able to let them go, 

sometimes a whole heckuva a lot easier than I am).

I've noticed lately that, once again, I've been tempted to pull off my path and get stuck in the

ditch ruminating about what I'm noticing that could be improved, especially at work. Smiling 

softly because with my wiring and conditioning, this one may be a lifelong journey for me so 

even that becomes a practice. Can I be gentle with myself when noticing this old pattern 

coming up in me again?

I am growing quite fond of this mug and it's quirky little angel playfully reminding me to 

"Water Seeds, Pull Weeds" and so I'm asking her to be my guide and teacher in the next 

little while.

I want to focus on what is going well and water those seeds rather than getting stuck in the 

weeds, *especially* those I can do nothing about, simply don't have the time, energy, or 

patience for, and/or are not mine to tend to.

It dawned on me this morning (so I had a spiritual awakening) that it really comes down to intentionally practicing my word for the year, Abide. By making a conscious choice (again 

and again if need be) about *where* I want my attention, dear heart and beautiful soul to 

Abide, and then honoring my choice, I am setting and holding internal boundaries.

Of course, there are times when weeding needs to be done. I just want to use care and be 

mindful of when I might be stuck in a ditch, overgrown with weeds. So a playful example 

would be, "Whoops! That's a weed, Deb, not a seed!" 

With the help of my Gardening Angel, Mama Grace, Auntie Mercy, Hope and Peace, may I 

become a good winnower, one who is learning the art of separating the seeds from the weeds.

#cultivatingenough

.              *             .

Epiphany Blessings :: Abiding in a Moma's Love

Taking an intentional moment to bask 

(and Abide) 

(and trust) 

in my Moma's love on this Epiphany morning. 

❤️ 

She died 19 years ago today 

and, as my aunt commented then, 

it still brings me Peace 

to picture her dancing along behind the wise men 

(and women)

as they followed the star.

.            *              .

Gentle Evening Abiding

Gently Abiding in

the sheltering presence of

my sweet friend named

Beary Star

as a wave of grief begins to wash over me.

Not too unexpected, really, 

my supervisor's last day was Thursday

so there are changes going on at work.

And my Moma died on Epiphany

nineteen years ago.

(How on earth can that be?)

May she rest in Peace.

.              *             .

Epiphany

For years I have been slipping off to this sweet little parish church every now and then for Saturday evening mass. Having discovered their beautiful nativity scene early on, visiting it is one of my very favorite Christmas traditions. It's quiet reverence always touches me. 

Happy Epiphany! 

(In his sermon tonight, the deacon said that epiphany means truth. I *really* liked that.)

.             *              .

5 Deep Breaths :: It's Sinking In!

Today I want to celebrate that the 5 Deep Breaths practice is sinking in! 

I had an unsettling dream last night and while I don't always (usually) write them out, this one felt pretty important so even tho I knew it'd make me late, I took the time to journal about it. 

After that, it brought a soft smile to remember that I could invite Peace in by placing my hand over my heart and take in 5 Deep Breaths.  

So I did. 

❤️

Thankful Tuesday

Today I am thankful for:

1.  A few more quiet days at work before the busy billing season kicks in.

2.  Relief from strained relationships continuing to ease.

3.  Learning about the idea of notebooking in the poetry course I'm taking.

4.  New Easter Praying in Color Template - yay!

5.  And it's a spiral, meant to go out (the opposite of what I did for Lent) - yay!

6.  Easy, tasty supper of toasted cheese sandwiches and sweet potato fries.

7.  Quiet evening with no tv.

8.  Loving circle of fond memories forming around my Grandma's photo on FB.

9.  Learning that it touched my dear Daddy's heart.

10.  Our mechanic fixed my flat tire for free!  (we do love him)

11.  Being surrounded by guardian angels.

12.  Valentine's Day roses dried and still beautiful.

13.  Hubby's Love Language is Gifts 

14.  Knowing my intuition is working, even when I plow right thru.

15.  Mercy-ful remembering that I am perfectly human and can always, always try 'er again.

.           *            .

Epiphany 2015

(image credit)

Found this lovely image to use for our Epiphany greetings this year.

Smiling because I had thought I might be ready

to send out our holiday letter about mid-December.

But.

Besides not feeling well

and being *so* tired from work,

I have really enjoyed sending out 

an Epiphany letter instead. 

So I decided to wait.

(This will be my third year)

Moma died on Epiphany

and we all have fond memories 

of my aunt's daydream of Moma

skipping and dancing along 

behind the wise men.
(She was finally free)

So there's something special

and holy

 about connecting with her

in this particular way.

My beloved Grandma instilled a love of 

snail mail in me when I was a small child.

This connecting with loved ones

after
the rush and hurry
of the holiday preparations 

helps me connect intentionally
with her as well.

Plus I *adore* the idea 

of following a Star.

.         *         .

What If . . .

What if . . . 

rather than it was just as it was meant to be

rather than my being "too big" one more time

What if . . .

no matter how much I ached

and longed

and hoped 

~ for more ~

(did she ache, and long, and hope, too?)

What if . . .

given her own history

she simply had no more to give

What if . . .

given my history 

it was hard to understand that,
once again,

it truly wasn't personal

What if . . .

it was all that it *could* be

just as it was

Can holiness, 

~ wholeness ~

be found

in the midst of 

human imperfection

What if . . .

in time,

the rough edges will smooth and soften

and a peace,

~ a blessed assurance, ~

will bathe,

and bind

and heal

Blessing both of our broken hearts.

~ May it be so ~

(and may she rest in peace)

Good-bye, sweet Faye.

I love you.

(tears)

.         *          .

InstaAdvent 21 :: Festive

Hubby was part of a live nativity tonight.

He's the wiseman on the far right.

His personal cheering section.  :)

Our little ones by the Chrismon tree.

.          *          .

InstaAdvent 9 :: Christmas Card

So, today there's a story to go along with my picture(s).

 

This Christmas card has been in the front of my bible

since the year we received it.

 

 

Like most,

I tended to focus on the Holy Family at Christmas time.
(Which isn't a bad thing, right?)

 

But I'd never really thought about

 intentionally asking

 the wise men to join me

and my always-seeking heart

during this time of year.

 

That is, until I read the inside of this one.

 

(It's from my sister.)

 

 

Surely, the wise men (and women) are patron saints

of those who search.

 

I take great comfort in that. 

 

They didn't know exactly where they were going.

 

It probably wasn't the straightest

or easiest of journeys.

 

And yet,

they knew they had to go.

 

And follow their hearts.

 

And our great and gentle God

sent a star to guide their every step.

Even when they weren't sure.

(I'm mighty partial to stars, ya know.)

 

Just as she does with us today.

 

Smiling very fondly now because my

precious Moma

died on January 6, 1997,

Epiphany.

 

Our aunt, Moma's sister,

said that the wise men were leading her to Jesus

as Moma happily danced along behind them.

 

The image still touches me to tears.

 

As an aside

(or is it?),

I was feeling kinda ready

to send out our Christmas cards

in the last little while.

 

But.

 

I have so loved sending them out at Epiphany

(the word means a new, wondrous awareness)

the last two years,

that I think I'm going to stick with my new tradition instead.

 

Seems Epiphany is Moma's

last,

precious

Christmas gift

that she continues to give to us.

 

(tears)

 

I love you, Moma!

 

.         *         .