Grounded's Personal Invitation to Me

We were invited by Liz in our Talisman of the Month FB group 

to practice being Brave by going live... 

so I did! :)

Wanted to share my little video here as well:

Grounded's Invitation to Me

password:  grounded2017

.             *             .

Blessing for Uncle Tom

I love John O'Donohue's Blessing for the Dying 

so much and longed to say it to Uncle Tom myself.

If there is such a thing as an "open video" 

(in lieu of an "open letter"), 

that is what this gift is intended to be: 

Blessing for Uncle Tom

Still waiting, watching, loving and praying 

from here in our part of this big circle of love.

.            *              .

Blackout Poetry

I tried Blackout Poetry with some friends and this one was my fave:

Invade

Take over senses

Free and open 

emotion to understanding 

Twister weather

Teaching tricks

Showcasing 

Wishes to learn

Their own makeup 

...

I so enjoyed this!! 

But can I just say that all 3 of my pieces still *reek* of sharpies? So much so that I still have to keep them at an arm's length distance (at least). 

.            *             .

Beautiful Late Summer Morning Haiku

 

Warm, moist heaviness

Summer's palpable presence

Caressing bare skin

 

.              *             .

 

August Break 2015 :: Listening

When getting ready in the mornings, 

I'm currently listening to Mark Nepo's 

"Reduced to Joy." 

I am really enjoying his calm voice 

and gently wise insights. 

Another way I listen 

is by writing in my journal. 

.             *            .

Thankful Tuesday

Today I am thankful for:

1.  Warm, fond memories of my Grandma and Moma 

2.  Companionship of sweet little crystal cut glass tea light holder

3.  Two unexpected cards from two friends

4.  Another perfectly glorious spring afternoon

5.  Slowing down and resting and being today - nourishment for my soul

6.  Early arrival of my new book, The Soul of a Pilgrim by Christine Valters Painter

7.  If the intro is any indication, I am going to *love* this one!

8.  Gift and honor of being able to help hold space for a dear friend.

9.  Playful moments with sweet hubby sprinkled in with this evening's errands

10.  Faint bleach smell of clean laundry 

11.  Soft, comfy lavender gown, bought 6-1/2 years ago, still one of my faves

12.  Kind words extended when I reached out for support

13.  Writing a poem that helps me understand and come to peace with a sister

14.  Being able to listen to myself read and affirm it for myself

15.  How very much I love photo treasure hunts for everyday beauty

16.  A very good night's rest last night with plans to get into bed soon this night as well.

Nightie Night!

.           *              .

Thankful Tuesday

Today I am thankful for:

1.  A few more quiet days at work before the busy billing season kicks in.

2.  Relief from strained relationships continuing to ease.

3.  Learning about the idea of notebooking in the poetry course I'm taking.

4.  New Easter Praying in Color Template - yay!

5.  And it's a spiral, meant to go out (the opposite of what I did for Lent) - yay!

6.  Easy, tasty supper of toasted cheese sandwiches and sweet potato fries.

7.  Quiet evening with no tv.

8.  Loving circle of fond memories forming around my Grandma's photo on FB.

9.  Learning that it touched my dear Daddy's heart.

10.  Our mechanic fixed my flat tire for free!  (we do love him)

11.  Being surrounded by guardian angels.

12.  Valentine's Day roses dried and still beautiful.

13.  Hubby's Love Language is Gifts 

14.  Knowing my intuition is working, even when I plow right thru.

15.  Mercy-ful remembering that I am perfectly human and can always, always try 'er again.

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Peace Dove

Peace is my word for this year and, as has become my tradition, I wanted to do a mandala in "her" honor.  I'm *so* delighted with how this one turned out.

The sweet little birdie in her nest (that *I* drew!!), resting on Peace, reminds me of the poem/acronym that I came up with earlier this year, thanks to a poetry prompt's inspiration 

and invitation:

P racticing
E ncouraging
A cceptance
C ultivates
E ase

Blessed be.

.             *            .

What If . . .

What if . . . 

rather than it was just as it was meant to be

rather than my being "too big" one more time

What if . . .

no matter how much I ached

and longed

and hoped 

~ for more ~

(did she ache, and long, and hope, too?)

What if . . .

given her own history

she simply had no more to give

What if . . .

given my history 

it was hard to understand that,
once again,

it truly wasn't personal

What if . . .

it was all that it *could* be

just as it was

Can holiness, 

~ wholeness ~

be found

in the midst of 

human imperfection

What if . . .

in time,

the rough edges will smooth and soften

and a peace,

~ a blessed assurance, ~

will bathe,

and bind

and heal

Blessing both of our broken hearts.

~ May it be so ~

(and may she rest in peace)

Good-bye, sweet Faye.

I love you.

(tears)

.         *          .

What I want you to know

In this round of Love Notes, our second prompt was "What I want you to know."  As with last week, a short poem poured forth.  

What I want you to know

is you don't have to go.

It's ok to say no

and nourish your soul.

Hmm, were these words more for my recipient or for me?

Boundaries continue to be a big theme for me and I'm actually feeling grateful.  It's sinking in, deeper and deeper, that just because walls aren't all that effective, that doesn't mean I don't need boundaries.  More and more, I'm seeing ways in which I give too much and it's starting to feel possible to let go of taking care of and feeling responsible for others.

Had a lovely chat with a wise one yesterday and she asked me, on a couple of occasions, "who are you responsible for?"  We were talking about work and a co-worker who I used to be close with.  I've felt bad because of the distance I've placed between us, feeling it was (yet another) a wall.  But what my friend invited me to see is that maybe it's a boundary instead and a necessary one at that.  My co-worker can be a bully and she interrupts me often.  Aside from being annoying, it pokes me in that "you and your needs are way too big" place.  It feels like she's trying to control and silence me .... because she is.

My friend reminded me that not only is my co-worker in my life for a reason (at least in part to help me to learn to set boundaries), I'm also in her life for a reason.  My allowing her to bulldoze over me, in other words not practicing boundaries with her, doesn't serve either of us.

Yesterday afternoon, when she and I had to sit together to work thru an issue she was having, I was in a calm, peaceful place.  I was also "driving" (my hands were on my computer keyboard and mouse) and when she'd want me to look in one dropdown menu while I was searching through another, I would calmly say, "just a minute" and "hold on," as I finished looking in the place where I was.

She needed my help and I was able to do it on my terms and it was so good.  I think we both left the interaction feeling good about it which feels Hope-filled for me.

Grinning because I'm not even pretending that it will always go this well when we sit together from here on out.  But it was really nice that it went so well yesterday and it's a lovely addition to my boundary track record.

I didn't have to go 

in the direction 

(on my computer screen 

or in our relationship) 

that she wanted me to. 

I could listen 

to what was in my heart, 

say no to her 

and nourish my soul

by saying 

a much bigger yes to me.

(Just as it should be,

especially since we are both adults.)

I am grateful.

.         *         .

St Francis and the Sow

I needed this poem today and plan to keep it close in the next little while 

so thought I'd share it here, too.

Saint Francis and the Sow
By Galway Kinnell

The bud
stands for all things,
even for those things that don’t flower,
for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;
though sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness,
to put a hand on its brow
of the flower
and retell it in words and in touch
it is lovely
until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing;
as Saint Francis
put his hand on the creased forehead
of the sow, and told her in words and in touch
blessings of earth on the sow, and the sow
began remembering all down her thick length,
from the earthen snout all the way
through the fodder and slops to the spiritual curl of the tail,
from the hard spininess spiked out from the spine
down through the great broken heart
to the sheer blue milken dreaminess spurting and shuddering
from the fourteen teats into the fourteen mouths sucking and blowing beneath them:
the long, perfect loveliness of sow.

May we all be assured 

(and reassured and retaught if need be) 

of our beauty. 

May we gently lean 

into the flowering of self-blessing 

from our "creased forehead" 

all the way to the "spiritual curl of [our] tail" 

and into our "great broken heart" . . . 

.              *             .

What is Home?

I have the pleasure of being in the Love Notes Post Card Project September round and this week's prompt is "Home is...." 

As I sat waiting in my doctor's office earlier this week, I began toying with the idea of writing a poem where the last word of each line rhymed with home. I'm so tickled because I was able to do it!

What is Home?

Warm welcome shown
After long, weary roam
Home is being seen and known

Sheltering dome
Nourishing zone
Home is gently healing loam

When doubts start to drone
Permission to moan
Home is long, truth-telling groans

Love practiced and honed
Faith freely loaned
Home is hearts tended and sewn

Gathering of crones
who know in their bones
Home is the balm of Shalom

.              *              .

Poetry Challenge - Second Try!

Ok, so I did another one!

(Hmmmm, she says with a twinkle, could this poetry practice be my next mandala-like craze? )
............................................

Life lessons passed down
from mother to daughter
working side by side
all hearts are watered

Stoves, sinks and countertops,
classrooms disguised as kitchens
bodies and souls are nourished
while washing the dishes

Even at funerals and weddings
womenfolk will gather
to witness and share
their news, tears, and banter

Easily summed up like this:
at the end of the day
what attracts them together
are the deep connections made
and, yes, of course, the laughter.

..................................................

This time my words were: anonymous, funeral, wedding, liquor, attract, daughter, loyal, day, kitchen, summed. They were all found on page 29 of the book, "Being Dead Is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral" by Metcalfe and Hays

.            *            .

Poetry Challenge

I've dabbled a little bit in poetry and have enjoyed it every time.  Curious if I could find any, I googled "poetry prompts" yesterday and found a lovely list of "30 Prompts for National Poetry Month" here.  

The first one is:  Grab the closest book. Go to page 29. Write down 10 words that catch your eye. Use 7 of words in a poem. For extra credit, have 4 of them appear at the end of a line.

The closet book is one I'm slowly working my way thru (and would recommend), Palmer Parker's, Healing the Heart of Democracy.  Here's the poem I came up with.


Unspoken confessions
buried deep within,
accidental cradle
of memories and skin

Ancient, hopeless thirst
yearns for relief,
wherever on earth
did I get so much grief?

Unquestioned lives
cannot educate,
but spiritual seeking,
in time, emancipates

No need to do it alone
for help comes in many forms,
friends, mentors, and family,
welcomed shelter in the storms

.          *          .

A Love Letter to Debbie Jo

(me, 4 years old)

Dearest Debbie Jo,

Yes, wee one,
still alive and well,
and watching from
inside my heart . . .

She's gone.

And I *know*
it scratches at
some tender,
broken places.

(How on earth could it not?)

But this time?
It's different.

I know, my love.
It's hard to believe,
when the feelings
and the memories
are so present.
Big, yet *almost*
imperceptible.

But it really is
.  .  .  true  .  .  .

I, the woman,
Debbie Grace
am here now,
 .   .  too   .   .

You are no longer
.  .  .  alone .  .  .
That precious child,
.  .  abandoned  .  .
by her beloved Moma
at a time when you
so desperately needed her.

It *was* devastating,
no doubt about that.
But that all happened
a lifetime ago.
(dropping to a whisper)
It's over now, my sweet.

So cry the tears,
bottled up for years,
aching, *needing* to be shed.
This is how healing spreads.

And when you are ready,
as best you can,
come back
.  .  (((home)))  .  .
to *this* moment.

Intentionally take the time
to look around and see.
Nesting in the safety of the
warm, encircling sea.

I am here
Mama Grace is here
Auntie Mercy is here
And, lookie right over there ...
Sisters, Enough and Hope,
are keeping watch, too

Gently wrap yourself
in our tender care,
watching as each one
joins her love with
that of all of the other
so-honored-to-be-yours mothers.

Moma, who can
now love you as
she yearns towards you
from her perch in heaven.

All of your grandmothers . . .
by blood,
by marriage
and by heart.

Trust that we all
love you very much.

Raise your weeping eyes
and look to us,
listening and receiving
our crucial words of
blessed affirmation.

As I gently
cup your face,
close your eyes
and lean in,
trusting each one's hand
covers mine
as we
. . . . . all . . . . .
send love and healing
to those deepest,
aching scars.

You're ok, Little One.

And this wave of grief?
It will pass.
Just like all of the others have.

I promise.

All my love,
Debbie Grace
who is still trustin' in Mama Grace, Auntie Mercy, Enough, and now Hope

.           *           .

I Want to Write . . .

I want to write
and speak the truth
winnowing chaff
harvesting fruit

I need to write
clearing cobwebs
noticing patterns
following threads

I yearn to write
creating space
letting things go
basking in Grace

I desire to write
telling my heart's stories
blest healing comes from
sharing struggles and glories

.          *           .

Today's poem was written in response to the poetry prompt "I want to write" by Liz Lamoreux in our Hand to Heart circle.

Thankful Tuesday

Today I am thankful for:

1.  Time with this little dear on Easter Sunday

2.  Refreshing rain

3.  Slept in 'til 11:15 a.m. this morning

4.  Room on Tuesday mornings to do just that

5.  Lovely chat with a precious sister on her birthday yesterday

6.  Online friendships that are slowly blossoming

7.  After work snack of orange juice and a slice of mozzarella

8.  Blessed time just to be

9.  and breathe

10. Beginnings of a new poem.

.          *          .

Poetry and Small Stones

Poetry isn't something I was ever really drawn to... nor was I really very sure I understood it.  Grinning because I'm still not sure I understand it....

For many years now I've been invited to practice Lectio Divina with care-filledly selected poems by a woman I trust who leads our book groups here.  I've been pleasantly surprised and deeply touched by looking for a word or phrase that "shimmers" for me and following it's trail for a little while. (How is this word or phrase speaking to me and my life right now?)

Sometimes I really like playing with writing by removing all of the small words that, turns out, aren't so necessary after all (and, but, if, etc). For me, it's a practice in taking my thoughts and feelings down to the barest minimum ~ which can lead to greater clarity. 

And because I'm intentionally using less words, the ones I do use are selected with great care and intention. For me, there's something really sacred about this creative process.

*And* it's poetry!

I learned about writing small stones, a practice developed by a very dear and gentle Buddhist couple, Satya and Kaspa. Writing small stones has helped me to practice what I think poetry is really all about ... noticing and then writing it down.

.          *          .

Beauty

Sweet dogwood beauty

tenderly consecrating,

dancing in the spring.

.       *       .

Our dogwood trees are starting to bloom! 

What better sign of Hope 

than flowers in the spring?

Yes.

.         *         .

Oh, If These Walls Could Talk - Art Journaling

I'm still working with my powerfully, poignant poem.

I've loved the picture since I first saw it several months back.  As I was flipping thru magazines on Saturday looking for images, it brought a smile to come across it again.  At first, I wasn't sure about pairing it with my poem.  But, as I thought about it, I knew it was perfect.

If I'm reframing an old story for myself in a kinder, more gently affirming way, which I am, this little room is actually just right.  When enclosing my heart as a way to take good care, sometimes in the only way I know how, I would hope I would take refuge in a place as pleasing and calming to me as this special little cubby.  

Smiling softly because I like that it has a door, too.  That way?  When I do need to come back and spend a little time here caring for my tender heart and re-grouping, I can.  The door is always open and the welcome mat is always out to my beautiful little sanctuary.

Yes.

.       *       .