Retreat Refreshment

Went to a lovely day-retreat today at an old house that has been remodeled to be a cozy 

retreat center with lots of beautiful windows 

.

From the wise, compassionate, and always a little playful speaker, to the gift of "just 

happening" to sit by and get to share with a kind, resonate soul, to the yummy summer's 

bounty lunch eaten in silence, this warm, welcoming home held us all. 

.

I am so grateful this evening, feeling content and refreshed in body, mind, and soul. 

💕

August Break :: Secret

Just looking at my carefully curated cup collection 

warms me to the soul, even before filling 

one with a warm, soothing beverage. 

And sometimes?  

When I need a little lift and it's too hot outside?  

I'll still allow one to choose me 

and fill it with either cool water or icy cold milk. 

#augustbreak2016 

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Blessed Comfort of Daily Mass

There's something so special for me, and has been since I was a small girl, about daily 

mass.

The pace is easier and the seats are usually filled with gray heads, creaking joints, kind 

smiles, and big hearts that have seen and withstood many a trial. Some of the wrinkled 

hands hold prayer books while others caress rosary beads, worn beautiful from being 

fingered for decades. Knowing these dearly beloved elderly people gather daily to pray 

on our behalf brings me deep, indescribable comfort.

Smiling softly as I've been a member of this parish long enough now to witness the 

changing of the guard, so to speak, as my parents' generation (and younger!) are now t

he majority in the seats. One day, which may be here sooner than I imagine, it will be 

my turn.

Until then, it is such a joy for me to join them on a beautiful summer morning.

(It would be disrespectful to take a photo during mass so this was afterwards.)

.      *      .

I posted this a year ago on Facebook 

and was surprised to see that I hadn't shared it here.

Remedying that right now.  

.            *              .

Everyday Beauty :: Hope-filled Connection

Taking a moment to connect with Grace 

before starting work 

by tenderly holding my red heart with black stars, 

reading a meaningful poem, 

looking at my angels 

and "Our Lady, Undoer of Knots," 

all while gently reminding myself 

to practice Abiding well. 

.      .      .

(since we're working with a 31-day list 

I'm combining the last 2 prompts 🙃)

#everydaybeauty

.            *            .

Everyday Beauty :: Evidence of Where I Came

. Growing up with peacocks on our farm was always such fun. I love that Daddy still keeps 

  them on his homestead and I'm so grateful he thought to send me home with a handful of 

  feathers one year.

. My First Communion book says the special day was April 13, 1969 and my faith remains 

  an integral part of who I am.

. The gold "D" on the same chain as my cross was Moma's last (tangible) gift to me. Before 

  she died she had the diamonds from the wedding ring Daddy gave her mounted on each one 

  of our initials and gave them to us on Christmas Eve 1996.

. Angels have long had a very special meaning for me and I chose this one because we prayed 

  before every meal as a family and still do.

. I love the blessed peace of candlelight which always speaks to me of hope (whether I realize 

  it in the moment or not).

. My black lantern has Stars on it, reminding me of the vast Texas Prairie sky that I grew up 

  under.

. The piece of cement "stone" anchoring my tableau is from the old farmhouse where I did 

  most of my growing up and still have such fond memories of.

❤️

.              *              .

Everyday Beauty :: A Daily Ritual

Practicing remembering to use great care 

in where I choose to Abide 

as I light my sweet red oil lamp 

encircled by her loving guardian angels. 

#everydaybeauty

.             *             .

A Bath Ritual for the New Year

Had the most lovely New Year's bath this morning, courtesy of Deborah at La Padre. Her thoughtful kit, containing everything I needed, was the first gift I received this year and I've 

been looking forward to it ever since. 

I still remember how deeply touched I was by the personal ritual she created for me last summer. It was incredibly perfect and is one of my most treasured moments of 2015. 

❤️

.             *              .

Epiphany

For years I have been slipping off to this sweet little parish church every now and then for Saturday evening mass. Having discovered their beautiful nativity scene early on, visiting it is one of my very favorite Christmas traditions. It's quiet reverence always touches me. 

Happy Epiphany! 

(In his sermon tonight, the deacon said that epiphany means truth. I *really* liked that.)

.             *              .

Our Advent Journey is Complete

.           *           .

Almost Home

.              *               .

Fourth Sunday of Advent

.             *              .

Waiting and Watching

.            *            .

Blessing Basking :: Day 30

Today I am grateful 

for my beautiful, wooden Advent spiral wreath 

and 

for another lovely "Praying in Color" Advent calendar. 

#prayingincolor

It's not too late to join me.

http://prayingincolor.com/advent-calendar-templates-a-countup-to-christmas

.               *              .

Thanksgiving Eve

Had some lovely company while baking my Thanksgiving pies. 

(Carmel Apple and Chocolate Pecan)

Smiling softly because I have such fond memories of spending time in each of their warm kitchens where life lessons were sprinkled in with the cooking guidance. Each has passed beyond the veil so while they may not be able to join me physically in my kitchen, I trust (and take deep comfort in knowing) they join me in spirit. 

I'm so grateful that I had my photo collage of them printed earlier this month! Having it close has been a gentle, welcomed visual reminder of these dear women that I love and miss so much and reminding me that they love me . . . still. 

 It's been a most blessed "Gathering of Spirits." 

❤️

.             *            .

Honoring My Ancestors

I'm taking Sacred Seasons: A Yearlong Journey Through the Celtic Wheel of the Year and, for whatever reasons, I've only managed to work my way thru every other season so far....  Perhaps next year I'll work thru the ones I'm not getting too this time around. I *love* the idea of staying with this process and circling back year after year (after year). Being both a cradle Catholic and a farmer's daughter, without my fully realizing it until recent years, the rhythm of the seasons calls to me *deeply*... like from my bone marrow. So, she says with a soft smile, I shall continue to show up when and how I am able, all while practicing trusting that it is Enough.

I *loved* our Samhain materials!!!! The Communion of Saints has always been an important concept to me and this season's reflections in particular have felt timely and so on point for me.  I'm also taking Honoring the Saints and Ancestors which expands further on November being a month of remembrance

Last week I made this photo collage for my altar space. Please allow me to introduce you to some of my ancestors... :)  Clockwise from the top left: Moma, Grandma D (Daddy's mom), Grandma P (hubby's grandmother who called me her own), and Grandma M (Moma's mom). So much about this gathering of spirits and the way they are circled speaks to me. Even tho we had some really *hard* differences and deep pain in our relationship, Moma was the biggest and best influence on me and the same clockwise direction is the order of the depth of closeness I feel for each woman. 

Once I had the photo printed, it was interesting to me to notice how Grandma M's photo is the fuzziest and that is really fitting.  It wasn't a conscious choice at all,  it was just because I enlarged it the most. As a teen and into my twenties (and later), because she couldn't be for me like my other Grandma, I kinda discarded her.  That feels harsh and sad to say but it's the truth.

I love my little altar space with my photo, candle and sweet angel with the words on her dress reminding me "Angels are sent from above to ease our Sorrows, strengthen our Faith, and lighten our Hearts."  Each carefully chosen item reminds me the women in my family are all right here, still with me and loving me, some in ways that they never could while we were both on this side. (We can't give what we've never received)

My sense is this is the year for me to gently open to welcoming Grandma M back into my heart and practice gathering up and appreciating what she *was* able to give me. For instance, right after we discovered I had bone cancer in my left hip, 38 years ago next month, they kept me pretty drugged up on morphine and it was horrible. It was *this* Grandma, an LVN nurse, someone I didn't think ever really saw or knew me, who took one look at me in the hospital bed and said, "she shouldn't be acting like that." It was then that they backed off the medication and the awful drug trips stopped.

She was my advocate.

In recently looking thru an old, cheerful, multi-colored cookie tin of my Grandma D's that I keep especially cherished mementos in, I was surprised to find a letter from Grandma M. While it did surprise me she'd written a two page birthday letter to me (we lived in the same city), I was more struck by the fact that I had actually saved her letter. As I read her words, tears rose.... she was reaching out to me in love and offering her support.  What was even more amazing to me was she had written it before our family fell apart when my parents' divorced and my cancer was discovered 7 months later.  In my heart of hearts, I have no doubt that she was probably one of my most faithful pray-ers thru that very difficult time. Indeed, she so freely gave to me from what she had available to give.

As an aside, that seems to be my growing edge right now.... looking for and accepting the love that is there in what is being offered to me, even if in imperfect ways.  This is turning out to be a healing and achingly beautiful process.  We are all human after all and so anything any of us offers will be imperfect to some degree.

So I know that Grandma M is the one in particular that I am meant to walk this month of remembrance with. I also learned recently that St. Martin de Porres ministered to those on the fringes. I was sitting in daily Mass at the time and was moved to tears because I've often felt like I was on the fringes and I wonder if Grandma didn't feel that way, too.  So... she says with a twinkle, unlikely threesome that we are, we are journeying together this November. 

On Sunday I made this collage in honor of Grandma M. A special thanks to my new friend, Bev, for her gracious permission to use her beautiful photo on the top left of Mary quietly, faithfully watching over the candles and the intentions they were lit with. 

I don't have many photos of Grandma so I plan to do some asking... later. The one in my piece was taken the day of Grandpa's funeral and she is surrounded by grandchildren (I am in the peach colored dress). It warms my heart to see her feeling content in that moment with all of us (and all of her children outside of lens range) gathered around her. We are in the backyard and her big vegetable garden is behind us. She loved growing flowers, too, and I remember as a young child being so "b-o-r-e-d" as we walked all around her house so she could show Moma and us kids with great delight all of the different flowers she was growing in her *many* beds.

(How I wish I could walk with her today and really listen to and celebrate what made her heart sing).

So it feels time, with Mary watching and praying, and "Spirit between" us to "Gather Beyond Time" in Hope (my word for 2014) and Peace (this year's word) with me "warming up," practicing "mercy" (2013's word), and "softness at home" (in my heart).

The owl speaks to me of another wise one, awake and ever-watchful, even and most especially in the darkest of times. 

The beautiful trees in the lower right are some very special friends that, over the last 7 years, I have taken to see as my Guardian Angels. These 4 lovelies live on a little island in the middle of the small side street on my way to work and I've named them after the archangels. Michael is featured and you can see a part of Gabriel.  Even tho Raphael and Uriel aren't shown, I know they are there, still watching over us, too.

.            *             .

Cherished Companions

Wise anchors. 

.               *              .

I need . . .

I need ... downtime. 

It was so lovely this afternoon 

sitting in my very favorite porch swing 

overlooking the happy Soque River 

while hubby fed the fish. 

❤️

(It's been way too long)

I love "my" porch swing so much that, 

unless it's really crowded and I have to share, 

you can usually find me sitting in it 

for most of our visit to Mark of the Potter 

while he feeds the fish. 

Feeling it only fair, 

she says with a twinkle,

Tadd came up with the playful deal, 

just between us,

that we buy a little something as "rent." 

Works for me

and it helps them, too! 

Here's today's new pretty.

❤️

.            *           .

What Went Well - June and July 2015

My response to a friend's prompt

to gather photos of moments of 

What Went Well.

Clockwise from top left:

1.  When this little cutie was looking up and back at me from her pint-sized supper chair, it was such a delight (for both of us!) to get on the floor and scooch over next to her.  We had the best time playing, teasing and laughing.

2.  Taking the scenic route on purpose

3.  Remembering, honoring, and writing about when I was small.

4.  Continuing to softly read John O'Donahue's Blessing for a New Home to myself every day at work 

5.  Getting up to watch the glorious sunrises during our trip to St. Augustine, which felt like "church."   I was over the moon at this selfie

6.  A shadow shot with the unexpected gift of a natural heart over my own

7.  Quiet ritual to release my sister in kindness to Mama Ocean

8.  Sharing daily mass with elderly, dear-hearted souls

9.  Continuing to intentionally practice Pilgrimaging to Peace

.              *             .

Remembering :: All is Well

The last couple days back at work, yesterday especially, were *rough.*  Our house is still a disaster from not fully being unpacked and I'm too weary to do anything about it right now. 

Carving out time this afternoon to reclaim the space on the table next to me, nourish myself with candlelight and take in 5 Deep Breaths (for a start). It is so good to be the company of a beloved angel and, with the help of a beautiful song, to remember that All is Well. 

❤️

.             *             .

5 Deep Breaths :: It's Sinking In!

Today I want to celebrate that the 5 Deep Breaths practice is sinking in! 

I had an unsettling dream last night and while I don't always (usually) write them out, this one felt pretty important so even tho I knew it'd make me late, I took the time to journal about it. 

After that, it brought a soft smile to remember that I could invite Peace in by placing my hand over my heart and take in 5 Deep Breaths.  

So I did. 

❤️