Showing posts with label Moma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Moma. Show all posts

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Happy Birthday, Lisa!

Today is my sister, Lisa's, birthday.

Warmly wishing her a wonderful day 
from one big sister (of the big kids)
 to the other (of the “little” girls)!

And I’m sure Moma sends her love as well.

I took this picture as Moma
was giving Lisa one more haircut 
before she moved 2 hours south
to start a new job adventure.

Love you, sister! 

💕

.            *            .





Thursday, January 4, 2018

Savouring January - Day 4 - Dream

My new air fryer cooks up grilled ham and Swiss sandwiches 
(with a sprinkling of poppy seeds like Moma used to make) 
like a dream! 

 A perfect lunch on this cold, blustery day.

It's based on a recipe from l-o-n-g ago when I was a little girl. 
Back then the local gas company would put on a cooking show 
and hand out little books with recipes in it, 
including the ones they had just demonstrated. 

The original recipe called for making a spread 
of mustard, butter, grated onion and poppy seeds. 
Today I just smear both insides of my bread with a little mayo,
 top that with a thin layer of yellow mustard, 
and sprinkle both sides generously with poppy seeds. 

As you probably can imagine, 
the poppy seeds add a bit of yummy crunch. 

Delish!

#SavouringJanuary2018

.            *            .

Monday, December 11, 2017

2 Christmases, 19 years apart

A beautiful Moma and her dear girl, 
watched over and held by Mama Grace 
and the angels... 

Still. 

❤️❤️

As is sometimes the case with me, she says with a soft smile, this one holds more 
vulnerable truth than I'm ready to share on my FB "living room" wall.

We had a mighty rough go in the 19 years between these two photos, my Moma and I. 

But in the end? The stars aligned in such a way that we were able to make peace before 
she died just 13 short days after the photo on the right on Epiphany (Jan. 6).

Between that and the discovery of my bone cancer on Dec. 14 (and my parents' divorce 
8 days before on Dec. 6), I think that's part of why I so adore Advent. It's a season that 
not only acknowledges, but honors the waiting we humans do which is sometimes an 
aching l-o-n-g-i-n-g for things that just aren't possible... in this moment.

But, 
she says with a soft smile, 
that doesn't mean that healing will never come. 

Ah, yes. It can and it does. 

(Right, Moma?) 
(and Mama Grace?)
(Right, Baby Girl.)

❤️❤️

.             *             .

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Remembrance - Day 31 of 40 - Part 2

Waking up this morning and coming to my chair,
I just couldn't bring myself to draw a new set of names.

In that moment, I knew . . . 
I needed another day with my dear Moma.

And since this is my lovely little practice,
that is unfolding as I go,
I granted myself the permission
to follow my heart.

I love you, Moma!

Blessed be. 

💕

.             *             .

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Remembrance - Day 31 of 40

"Miracles do happen."

Indeed they do. . . 

Sweet, powder blue butterfly 
hangs in our bedroom right next to my closet door 
where I can see it every single day. 

Inscribed on the back in her handwriting: 

To Debbie. 
Love, Mom. 
January 1994. 

I love you, too, Moma! 
(and so, *so* loving that she showed up today,
December 6)

Blessed be. 💕


.           *            .

Friday, November 17, 2017

Remembrance - Day 12 of 40

Once again, I find myself smiling fondly
at the 2 lovelies that showed up together. 

.      .      .     .      .

Nightie was a playful soul that I met in a shared online space.  We cared a great deal for 
one another and, even as busy as she was, when she noticed I went quiet she would send 
me a little love note to check on me and see how I was doing.  She was a quiet one and 
whether we noticed it or not, her strength held us.  "Den Guardian" was the perfect role 
and name for her.  She was (and still is) our Protectress.

She lived several states away and I had the very good fortune of seeing and hugging her 
in person several years in a row.  At my first of our group's annual gatherings and feeling
a bit nervous, we were invited to stand so our leader could go around the circle and bless
each one of us.  Sure, I could've reached down for Bert and Ernie for support.  Instead I 
asked Nightie if she would help me and she was right there for me to lean on (again).

Several years later at our group's annual gathering she hosted a Babylon 5 trivia contest.  
So that I could play with at least a little knowledge, hubby and I watched all the episodes
before our convention.  Grinning because it just might've delighted her more than it did 
me that I came in second place and won the little figurine leaning against my candle.

The last time I saw her was 6 years ago at our annual September "in the fur" gathering 
which I *almost* didn't attend.  I'm so glad I did because 2-1/2 weeks later she was gone. 

A year later I believe she did come to check on me in person.  I was sitting at the little
church that I so love to attend on a dark Saturday night.  When I turned around to offer
the sign of peace, a woman who's hair and build reminded me *eerily* of Nightie was 
standing behind me.  I was working up the courage to ask her after mass if we might 
could share a hug in honor of my friend but when I turned back around?  She had slipped
out.  While I was sad, somehow it felt right to be looked in on for a few brief moments.
And just like her . . .  she saw that I was fine and so she went on about her other rounds.

.      .     .     .     .

Margie was the play therapist at The Children's Hospital in Boston and just the breath 
of fresh air I needed during a difficult time.  We met her on my first short trip up for 
evaluation when Moma was with me.  I made the second trip up for 7-1/2 weeks of 
radiation by myself and spent most of my outpatient days on the oncology floor, waiting 
for the woman who had generously opened her home to me to finish her volunteer 
work and was ready to take me home with her for the night.  

Back home the hospital I stayed in didn't have a children's ward so this was a whole 
new world to me.  Along with Margie's steady weekday company, one of the most 
memorable lessons for me was, unless we weren't feeling well, we were expected 
to get up, get dressed and stroll down to the huge, bright playroom at the end of the 
hall.  This helped me to understand how influential the way we behave can very much
have an effect on how we feel.  We were kids with cancer, not cancer that had kids.  
The playroom was filled with all sorts of toys and one wall was lined with windows 
overlooking the city.  Margie often sat in one of the small chairs at the low-to-the-
ground tables, perfectly adjusted for kids.  

I remember she was the one who taught me how to say "Massachusetts" ("chew" not 
"too") and she had a big, ready smile.  She was a welcomed companion and anchor in 
the storm that I came to rely on.  

I wish I had her address or knew how to contact her and have tried several times but
to no avail.  Perhaps it's how it's meant to be.

.      .      .     .      .

When we die . . .
Failed attempts to stay connected to one another . . . 
Sometimes . . . ?

It's all a Mystery.

Still.
They were both very much about Seeking Joy.
and I loved them dearly.

Blessed be.

💙  .  🙏🏻  .  💙

.           *          .

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Shutter Happy ~ Day 6 ~ Fave Spot in my House

My favorite place in our home is this corner where my comfy, 40-year-old rocker 
recliner lives. Brown tweed clad and already broken in just right when Granddaddy 
gave it to me, it's now covered in this beautiful mariner blue. Smiling fondly as it 
provides my favorite view, too.

The wooden side table parked between where darlin' hubby and I sit often holds a 
lit candle, an angel or two, and a favorite mug. Tucked on the shelf underneath are 
many current favorite book companions, all within easy reach. 

My treasured Grace tiles are on the south wall of our living room. Below them is 
the charming wooden heart quilt rack that my brother made for me one Christmas. 
Nestled on its shelf is a choir of angels, twinkle lights, and a lantern. Hanging below 
is the beautiful farm-themed quilt made especially for me by my sister several years 
ago.

In the far corner, above the dinette set that my father-in-law sat at as a small child 
is one of my most treasured angels. From her place of honor (I can see her when 
working in my kitchen as well), she peacefully reminds and reassures me of my 
Moma's constant loving presence in my life. 

In front of me and a little to my right is my cherished Quartet of Grace gathered 
around and always looking over their red oil lamp "daughter," quietly reminding 
me to Abide.

Blessed be. 

#shutterhappy

.          *          .

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Breathe September 2017 :: Day 9 - Beauty

My Moma. 

💕

She and me.

And loving that my cherished Puppy Woof-Woof
is in my right hand.

I remember Moma telling me that he was
my best friend and constant companion.

#BreatheSeptember2017

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Missing My Moma

And, *gracious me*!, 
with my hair this short, 
I *so* see her in my face, 
especially my eyes
(and eyebrows).

I love you, Moma!

💕

.         *         .

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Gathering of Spirits

"I hear the voice of my Grandmothers calling me....
...Listen, listen."
~song lyrics by Sandy Vaughn

This isn't the version I know but it's similar.

💕. 💕. 💕. 💕

Friday, April 14, 2017

Treasured Tradition

(Warm Good Friday Blessings)

🕯  .   💕  .   🙏🏻

.         *           .

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Baking is My Therapeutic Love Language

Taking a quiet moment to be fully present in this moment before beginning some lovely 
baking therapy this evening, all while basking in the Light of Love. 

#grounded2017

💕     .       🕯     .       🔶


My bananas were frozen and the recipe I use is my Grandma's. It was the very first thing 
we baked together when I was 9 years old, after putting on our aprons, of course.

Yesterday at work was *tough* and, while today was a lot better, I knew I still needed some 
self-care... and I love to bake so I thought, "hey!" 

I'm not sure I've ever thought of baking as self-care 
before but when done in the right spirit, it so is.
It's also one of my love languages.

I have such fond memories of a dear family friend's mom who, when she would come for 
a visit, would keep a lighted candle when she and her daughter were working in the kitchen. 
I was so enchanted the first time I saw it and how Gramma Underwood (we "adopted" her) 
explained to me that it helped her to remember to pray for those who were on her heart 
that day, especially when preparing for big family meals like Thanksgiving dishes (which 
is usually when she and Grampa were down for a visit).

In November 2015, wanting to feel them close by, I created the collage of the 4 women 
behind my candle. Moma is in the top left, my beloved Banana Bread Grandma in the top 
right, Moma's mom in the bottom left, and hubby's dear Grandma who considered me one 
of her own in the bottom right.

(Have I mentioned yet that hubby affectionately 
calls me "a little old lady magnet?" 
I just smile and nod because I adore grandmother (and grandfather!) 
energy and am so drawn to them)

This evening, I knew I needed to feel them close. Just the simple act of gathering items for 
a little impromptu kitchen altar felt like a gift (the other picture is "Mary, Undoer of Knots) 
and my rock says Peace), as did taking a moment to pause ...

... breathe ... 

.... and gently remind myself that I am not alone. 

While they may be on a different plane, 
we are very much together in spirit. 

I know because seeing their sweet faces 
in the glow of candlelight tells me so.

And sure enough. I am feeling much more
 Grounded and centered, 
and also loved.

Blessed be. 

.           *           .

Tryin' Again

Work was mighty tough yesterday

#BeKindBeBraveBeCurious

.         *           .

And I see my dear Moma in my face in this one.

Reckon that means she's watching over me?

Yes, I think so, too.

.          *           .

Birthday Blessings to my Baby Sister

We're in my Dad's kitchen and she's pregnant with her first daughter.


Moma and Sister came to visit one year for Easter. 
She had been on crutches and didn't need them anymore
so she brought them to me.

This is us in the airport.

(So, *so* delighted that Moma thought to take this picture!)

.         *           .


Sunday, January 15, 2017

Happy Birthday, Moma

💕

She's been gone 20 years now
(how can that possibly be?)
and would have been 76 today.

.               *           .

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Passing the Peace

November is the month of Remembrance and just like last year, I'm especially 
remembering, clockwise from top left, my dear Moma, beloved paternal grandmother, 
hubby's precious grandmother (it was love at first sight!), and my maternal grandmother 
(she and I are still finding our way).

May they all Rest In Peace. 

❤️. 🙏🏻. ❤️

Monday, July 11, 2016

July 11 :: What I wish for . . .

. . . (and so long for) . . . 

. . . is to be able to spend time 
with my beautifully precious Moma. 

We'd laugh,
 we'd cry, 
we'd talk, 
we'd be, 
we'd sing, 
we'd dance, 
and 
we'd share many a huge hug. 

💕

.             *             .

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Godspeed, Dear Uncle Tom

My Uncle Tom is on my heart and in my thoughts and prayers this morning. Received 
word that after a very long and arduous struggle with cancer he has been referred to 
hospice care.  

Smiling softly, trusting that his big sister (my Moma), along with so many others that he 
loves and who love him are gathering at the pearly gates, ready to joyfully receive him and 
show him around.  (I take *such* deep comfort in the concept of the Communion of Saints, especially at times like these.)

Your love and prayers would be most welcome at this sad and very holy "thin place" in the 
life of our family.   

❤️

.           *            .

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Tranquil Tokens




Very kind, deeply touching words 
sweet surprise card
tucked in with my hearts and talisman. 

💕

.            *             .