Shutter Happy ~ Day 9 ~ Play

Something that is very much play for me is creating little vignettes especially, she

says with a twinkly smile, when I have new things to include. Archangel Chamuel 

is a new angel to me and I have a feeling that I shall enjoy getting to know him. 

With Peace being my word for 2015, perhaps he already knows me? ❤️

. . . 

This little scene speaks to me of "As best you can in each moment, Mirror Peace, 

Brave Heart, and Peace will come back to you. (Hope, Grace, and Mercy, too.)"

. . .

#shutterhappy

.         *          .

Enough is Enough

Smiling softly as I need to quietly park this one here and spill a few words that I can't 

share in other places. 

❤️

I'm feeling hurt and have been for a while now, struggling with a sister who has all but 

cut me (and others) off because she feels slighted by what another sister did.

I want to be supportive because I understand needing space... 

But this not communicating (with most of us) and ignoring texts while happily sharing 

away laughs about her day over on Snapchat is getting old...

After some thought, I reached out via text this afternoon to confirm what I knew (she 

and her husband will be out of town while we're there next week), but hasn't bothered 

to let me know.

Her response?  Two words:  "yes, ma'am."

My emotions are all over the place and I wondered about trying to reach out again.... 

yes, knowing it probably wasn't a good idea, but wondering all the same.

And then I was reminded of this little card and I sighed a big "yes." The magnet under 

my hand was also tucked in my TOTM box and it says 

"May you know you are worthy."

I can't make my sister reach back.
I can't make want to have a relationship with me.
I can't do her healing work for her.

(All hustling, Deb)

I can let go (as best I can in each moment). 

I can trust that Enough (my word for 2013) is enough, 

and that I am worthy of love and belonging even 

when one of my sisters has distanced herself from me. 

I can remember my newest teachers, 

beautiful sunflowers 

who keep their faces turned towards Mama Grace. 

And, as best I can in each moment,

follow their lead.

❤️  .    🌻  .    ❤️  .    🌻  .    ❤️

.         *         .

(Grateful for your witness)

Angels Watching Over Me

Intentionally taking time to be 

while trusting that my angels are watching over me. 

💕

We'll be going to visit my family soon where tensions are high and have been for a good

while now. 

My practice this week is breathing in Grace, Mercy, Hope, and Peace while asking for 

strength and guidance that I may bring love (with boundaries so as not to get pulled under) 

as this family that has been so hurt ~ *gracious,* have we been hurt! ~ continues to find 

our way home to healing...

 and, hopefully, 

given enough time

and patience 

and work

and love....

 to one another. 

(If you feel so inclined, your love, prayers, and warm thoughts would be welcome.)

 💗

.         *         .

April Love :: Day 5 - Favorite Quote

This quote from 

The Language of Letting Go 

by Melody Beattie 

is one of the first I ever memorized. 

Decades later it still soothes, quiets, and comforts. 

#aprillove2017

.           *           .

Celtic Blessing for the Tuesdays in March

May it be so. 

❤️

Love this blessing that ends the prayer for Tuesdays in March. 

The Celtic Wheel of the Year

by Tess Ward, pg. 60

.          *         .

Trust and Hope

Over here Orange continues to surprise and delight 

by peeking out and waving at me from the corners of my world..

..

Yesterday afternoon it was this lovely card that captured my attention. 

Mailed over 1-1/2 years ago by a Love Notes pen pal, 

it's been laying on top of my jewelry box ever since. 

Along with a sweet Orange feather and picture, 

she put two of my very favorite words on it 

- Trust and Hope -

 which is why it's stayed there ever since, 

fading into the background of my life.... 

Until now.

Blessed be. 

🍊.     . 🏮

#grounded2017

.            *            .

Trustin' in Grace and in The Wisdom of the Body

So I had a Lent themed book picked out but when it came time to order it, I was having 

trouble finding it. When a copy finally arrived on Tuesday, some of the pages are so messed 

up in places that I can't make out all of the words. While disappointed, after sitting with it 

for a bit, I knew.  It will need to be returned.

In the midst of all of that planning, this preordered book quietly arrived a couple weeks back. 

I remember smiling when I opened it to see more orange, and both the title and cover spoke 

to me. I then set it aside with a promise to return to it... later.

After reluctantly giving up on my first choice for a Lenten companion, I picked this one up 

last night and started reading.

And lookie what I found just in the intro of this book that so clearly chose me:

"You are beginning the long and beautiful journey home."

"The body speaks truth if we would only learn how to listen."

"... the body calls us fully present here and now."

..

Ah, she says as a wide smile spreads, if practicing Grounded means to practice being 

fully in this present moment, doesn't that mean being fully in my dear body as well?

Yes. 

🍊

#grounded2017

.            *             .

Family Fun Night

Last night we were headed over to see our new baby girl again

and bring dinner but then we were in the accident.

We were delighted to get to try 'er again tonight.

My little baking helpers and I made a yummy pineapple angel food cake. 

(And a wonderful memory, too!)

🍍😇🍰

Ballerina Beauties

My sweet big girls wanted to show me their dresses for their 

recital in May

Just a swangin'. 

👼🏻

Big Sister didn't used to like to have her picture taken

but she has warmed right up to it

which delights my heart so much!

After our supper of grilled cheese sandwiches,

tomato basil soup

sliced carrots

applesause,

and while we were waiting for our cake to cool.

Big sister blessed me with a private dance recital.

Such a gift

and so heart touching to be trusted

and loved so much.

Blessed be.

.          *            .

A Gift of Grounded

Before I begin my story, I want to tell you that my word for this year is Grounded. 

.          *          .         *          .

I was so delighted to learn that signing up for a year of Talisman of the Month Club meant 

that I'd receive a soap stone bowl to hold all of my talisman. Knowing Liz intentionally 

chooses what she sends to each person, I practiced Trusting that the color of my bowl would 

be just right. 

Still, she adds with a twinkly grin, I was hoping for a lovely deep pink or beautiful turquoise 

blue.

When my box arrived, part of me wanted to tear into it right then. Instead, since I was headed 

for work and wanting to give myself the gift of receiving my package intentionally, I waited. 

Turns out, the anticipation was indeed delicious. When the time finally arrived I settled into 

my chair and took my time with each little envelope and discovering the treasures tucked 

inside. Opening the little muslin bag and finding this month's talisman, I'm sure I must have 

purred (just as I did again just now).

Kind, Brave and Curious? 

Yes. 

After putting my hand to my heart, closing my eyes, and whispering a little prayer to Trust 

the process (and Liz), I care-filledly unwrapped the deep purple tissue paper and found this 

soap stone bowl. When I first saw it, my heart fell a little bit because truth be told, the color 

Orange has never ever really been one of my favorites.

Gently noticing my disappointment and tenderly encouraging myself to Be Kind, Be Brave, 

and Be Curious, while I wasn't sure about the middle, I reminded myself that I do so love 

hearts and the swirls around the edges reminded me of the Valentine's Day roses sweet 

hubby had just given to me a few days before.

As I sat with my chosen-just-for-me bowl here next to me for the next few days, it dawned 

on me that Orange has actually been showing up in a few different places for me lately. It 

started when I was making a small quilt for a friend 8 weeks back and orange wanted to 

be a part of it. "Orange?!" I surprisedly thought to myself. But as I tried different fabrics, 

I knew. 

Yes, Orange. 

A couple of days ago in looking around at my little corner from the vantage point of my 

chair, I noticed that the sweet popsicle frame, a handmade Christmas gift from my darling 

6-year old niece has 2 lines of orange washi tape on it. And the "You are my Sunshine" cross 

stitch picture made for me by my goddaughter (her first project!) last year? Most of her 

stitching is in Orange. Sitting next to it is a gift from a dear friend from several years back, 

such a cheerful picture with a lot of Orange in it as well.

Ok. So now I really *was* Curious and googled "which chakra is Orange?" As you already 

know, Orange is the color of the sacral chakra. 

Interesting how I keep reading it as the "sacred" chakra. 

I learned this color represents my pelvis and gut feelings, "the centre of being through 

which we connect with the deepest voice of the self, the deepest stillness and wisdom".

And when I think about having bone cancer in my hip as a teen and that my crutches 

are permanent... so it literally has been hard for me to physically stand my ground at times

and sometimes in my truth... and remembering that we really do work thru things in a 

spiral - hey! like the spiral in the middle of my bowl! - and realizing that the center of my 

heart bowl feels like my heart, especially when I'm gently holding it in my hand, like in 

my photo....

Hmmmm.... this is feeling more and more right.

  

So maybe, just maybe, she adds with a twinkle, I received the perfect bowl for me after all! 

Smiling softly as the truth is 

I have become quite attached 

to my Orange heart 

and I wouldn't want any other.

Well lookie here, she says with a warm smile.

A gift of Grounded. 

Blessed be.

.           *              .

SaveSave

Gentle Reminder to Self

The back of my new mug says, 

"Offer whatever light you can."

Smiling warmly as I share that it's my Hope that this cute, quirky kitty 

will be good company for me and my word for 2017, 

Grounded,  

in the coming year (and beyond).

Grateful for some quiet time to write

this morning and listen well to my heart.

Grounding myself in the truth 

of where I am in this moment

by exploring and acknowledging 

what light I truly am able to offer right now

"for fun and for free"

(so with no expectations or obligations attached.)

Blessed be.

.          *            .

Still Abidin'

.            *             .

August Break :: 5 Years Ago

Capturing my heart from the start, 

my sweet niece arrived on January 26, 2011. 

She has already gifted me with oodles and oodles 

(and oodles!) 

of warm memories and 

I will always treasure this shared, quiet moment 

after her baptism in particular. 

The whole time I held her, 

my precious blonde angel 

kept looking up at me, 

her beautiful blue eyes 

wide and rarely blinking. 

And with all of the love overflowing from my heart, 

I met and held her sweet baby gaze 

and kept looking right back at her 

for as long as she wanted. 

Ah, such a holy, cherished moment, this one. 

Is there such a thing as love at first sight? 

Yes. 

Oh, *heavens* yes. 

💕

#augustbreak2016

.            *            .

Heber Springs Bound

When my Uncle Tom died I had a real sense that I needed to be there for his funeral.

Not only is he very special to me,

I am so *hungry* for stories of our family 

and, 

with my Moma dying almost 20 years ago, 

I can no longer ask her.

But.

 I can ask her siblings.

So off we went.

A piece of our rental car's trim came loose so made an unexpected stop to get it fixed. 

The Arkansas line snuck up on us and we missed it!

The moon followed and watched over us throughout our whole trip.  Good thing. A critter
ran out in front of us and hubby wasn't able to miss it. So that piece of trim that came loose
on our rental car earlier and we stopped to have it fixed back in Birmingham?  Well, it's
loose again.

But under her watchful eye, we made it safe and sound. 

.      *      .

And the Deer (Angels) continue to show up.

Smiling warmly because when I called our insurance company earlier this week to adjust 

our coverage to include our rental for this trip, the kind agent said that, as we'd been talking,

she'd been watching a sweet little fawn outside of their office window!

Then, our trip in had several glitches ... all more on the smallish side but had to be worked 

thru before we could continue on ... and we pulled into the hotel at 12:52 a.m. this morning 

(1:52 a.m. our time). Not too long before we arrived here, a doe crossed the road in front of 

us. 

As I sat resting in a hot bath this morning, a fond smile spread. What if all of the "glitches" 

were timed so that this dear little one would be crossing the winding country road at just the 

right time?

Indeed, it appears that all is well.

.           *             .

Trustin' and Abidin'

.             *           .

Godspeed, Dear Uncle Tom

My Uncle Tom is on my heart and in my thoughts and prayers this morning. Received 

word that after a very long and arduous struggle with cancer he has been referred to 

hospice care.  

Smiling softly, trusting that his big sister (my Moma), along with so many others that he 

loves and who love him are gathering at the pearly gates, ready to joyfully receive him and 

show him around.  (I take *such* deep comfort in the concept of the Communion of Saints, especially at times like these.)

Your love and prayers would be most welcome at this sad and very holy "thin place" in the 

life of our family.   

❤️

.           *            .

Timely Third

Well, lookie here! 

A third beauty awakens. . .

Abiding this morning in 

her gentle lesson 

that while it might feel late, 

both to those around us who have already nodded off 

and to our own aching hearts?

We all bloom in our own time. 

Indeed, there is a time for every season. 

❤️

.              *              .

Sabbath Abiding

My angels still bring me such Peace

Gently reminding me

to use great care

in where I intentionally

Abide

Evening 

So love the quilt that my sister made for me

and the ever-present reminder that 

Grace

is always near.

(and still *so* loving this new app, Cortex Cam)

.            *             .

April Love :: Day 16 :: Dear Legs

Dear Legs,

There've been a few times in my almost 54 years when there was talk of letting the left one 

of you go. 

The first time was when cancer was discovered in my 15-year old body and my "NO" was 

adamant. Smiling softly as my actual words to the orthopedist were "If I'm dying in 6 months, 

I'm taking my leg with me!" 

My new-to-me oncologist had said "the bone cancer you have is one that grows very fast and 

if we don't start you on chemo right away, you won't make it 6 months." While I know he 

never would have gone against my wishes, something I still deeply appreciate about him to 

this day, in hindsight, I don't believe he would've agreed to my NO "as easily" if he didn't 

think it wise.  Instead, I believe he knew that my fierce tenacity would be an important key 

in helping me to survive. ❤️

And the last time, 28 years ago, the raging infection was *so* bad, that third round of infection

since my cancer as a teen. I was 26, had been in the hospital for 3 months starting just 3 weeks 

after we got married, all a short 8 months after I had moved 21 hours away from my entire 

family and the only life I had known.  I was feeling so discouraged and depressed that I 

seriously considered letting go for a very short while. 

Hands down, the hardest time in my life. 

Thank God for the loving angels gathered around me, in particular my sweet husband and a few 

dear ministers. Their kind & willing presence, patient empathy, & wise words helped me know 

that, while things were certainly dire, they weren't life threatening and, at that point, it would 

have been a sacrifice I would deeply regret. . . forever. 

And sure enough, being home with my darlin' hubby and taking lots of soul soothing baths 

(I am a water baby for sure), in time the big, bad infection subsided. 

The only remnants are my left leg is about 8" shorter than my right and I have some pretty big 

battle scars on the outside of my left thigh. But then it was a pretty big battle. 

And between you and a little help from my crutch friends, Bert and Ernie? I get along just fine. 

I am so grateful to still have both of you, dear legs. 

So, *so* deeply grateful. 

Blessed be. 

❤️

#aprillove2016

Edited on 4/25/16 to add:

As I read back over my words this evening I wanted to clarify something that feels really important.

I was still on antibiotics when I went home and closely monitored because my infection was very, very serious. To give you an idea, my doctor at Emory (a big, well-known teaching hospital here in Atlanta), who traveled the world teaching doctors how to treat big time infections, said that mine was the second worst he'd ever seen.

So when they sent me home, I knew the deal was that if things took a turn for the worst, I would need to come right back into the hospital. I was just so deeply grateful and profoundly relieved for the doctors willingness to let me try to just be at *home* for a while.

Still, she says with a soft smile. . . there's not a doubt in my mind that the love of my dear hubby, being home, and the baths in my own tub helped to soothe and heal my broken spirit for sure. I believe *in my bones* that this is what helped me (finally) to turn the corner.

❤️

.             *            .

Abide and Trust in Love

The beautiful foursome of charming angels was my favorite Christmas gift from hubby this 

year and they are circled around, ever-so-gently leaning over, my sweet little red oil lamp, 

bought at a lovely Grist Mill turned pottery shop about an hour's drive away from here.  (If 

you follow me here, you'll know that it was "rent" for time spent in my favorite porch swing 

away from home.  You may already know this story, too.)

This beautiful tableau has been gathered since Christmas day. Smiling because it didn't take 

long for me to realize, 

Oh!!! 

So *this* is what 

Abide, 

my word for this year, 

looks like for me..... 

intentionally placing myself 

in the midst of cherished beloveds 

and allowing them to tend and love me, 

while practicing trusting that they want to. 

All that is required of me in that (this) moment 

is to rest in their caring presence.

For this?  

I am deeply grateful.

.             *              .

Luminous March :: Heart

Entrusting Grandmother Oak 

with my weary heart 

after a tough day at work.  

Being held

and healed.

Blessed be. 

#embodiedterrain

.              *              .