Remembrance - Day 34 of 40

Two gentle guides 

who saw all of me, 

rough edges and all, 

and, 

while not in so many words, 

reassured me that I was (am) 

Enough 

and lovable 

just as I was (am). 

Blessed be. 

🕯  .  💙  .  🙏🏻

.            *            .

Shutter Happy ~ Day 2 ~ Something that I Wear

It brings great delight 

to be able to wear one of the special word companions 

that have become quite dear to me on any given day.

...

And sometimes? 

 It's just the little Light I need to help get me thru. 

#shutterhappy

...

Grace - 2008 - 2011 

(plus my fond nickname for my HP)

(Mercy - 2012)

Enough - 2013

Hope - 2014

Peace - 2015

Abide - 2016

(Grounded - 2017)

.          *          .

Sisterly Synchronicity

Yesterday's mail held the wonderful surprise 

of a new "fridge friend." 

I'm still smiling this morning, 

so touched by my sister's thoughtfulness 

and treasuring this sweet memento of their recent visit. 

🌻  .   💚  .   🌻

The timing was also a gift... 

the day after my vulnerable post about one sister, 

this wonderful surprise from another sister 

was tucked in our mailbox. 

Before taking a photo, 

I held it up next to my silk sunflowers 

as a secret reminder to myself 

to keep my face turned towards Grace, 

practice remembering that I am Enough, 

and to go where the love is. 

Yes.

🌻  .   💚  .   🌻

.           *          .

Enough is Enough

Smiling softly as I need to quietly park this one here and spill a few words that I can't 

share in other places. 

❤️

I'm feeling hurt and have been for a while now, struggling with a sister who has all but 

cut me (and others) off because she feels slighted by what another sister did.

I want to be supportive because I understand needing space... 

But this not communicating (with most of us) and ignoring texts while happily sharing 

away laughs about her day over on Snapchat is getting old...

After some thought, I reached out via text this afternoon to confirm what I knew (she 

and her husband will be out of town while we're there next week), but hasn't bothered 

to let me know.

Her response?  Two words:  "yes, ma'am."

My emotions are all over the place and I wondered about trying to reach out again.... 

yes, knowing it probably wasn't a good idea, but wondering all the same.

And then I was reminded of this little card and I sighed a big "yes." The magnet under 

my hand was also tucked in my TOTM box and it says 

"May you know you are worthy."

I can't make my sister reach back.
I can't make want to have a relationship with me.
I can't do her healing work for her.

(All hustling, Deb)

I can let go (as best I can in each moment). 

I can trust that Enough (my word for 2013) is enough, 

and that I am worthy of love and belonging even 

when one of my sisters has distanced herself from me. 

I can remember my newest teachers, 

beautiful sunflowers 

who keep their faces turned towards Mama Grace. 

And, as best I can in each moment,

follow their lead.

❤️  .    🌻  .    ❤️  .    🌻  .    ❤️

.         *         .

(Grateful for your witness)

Courage, Dear Heart . . .

. . . and let it be Enough. 

💕

.          *           .

Trustin' in Grace and in The Wisdom of the Body

So I had a Lent themed book picked out but when it came time to order it, I was having 

trouble finding it. When a copy finally arrived on Tuesday, some of the pages are so messed 

up in places that I can't make out all of the words. While disappointed, after sitting with it 

for a bit, I knew.  It will need to be returned.

In the midst of all of that planning, this preordered book quietly arrived a couple weeks back. 

I remember smiling when I opened it to see more orange, and both the title and cover spoke 

to me. I then set it aside with a promise to return to it... later.

After reluctantly giving up on my first choice for a Lenten companion, I picked this one up 

last night and started reading.

And lookie what I found just in the intro of this book that so clearly chose me:

"You are beginning the long and beautiful journey home."

"The body speaks truth if we would only learn how to listen."

"... the body calls us fully present here and now."

..

Ah, she says as a wide smile spreads, if practicing Grounded means to practice being 

fully in this present moment, doesn't that mean being fully in my dear body as well?

Yes. 

🍊

#grounded2017

.            *             .

Savoring January Day 9 :: Nourish

Regulars found on my self-care menu are 

soft, lullaby-like music, 

quietly rocking to the steady rhythm of tick tocks, 

wise words affirming my way, 

and intentionally Abiding in the presence of angels. 

#SavouringJanuary2017

.          *           .

Catching Up

💜💜💗💜

.             *               .

Advent is for Everyday

"Relinquish expectations for holidays that are without conflict or problems or challenges 

[or sickness]. Christmas [and Advent] is about God embracing human life – with all of its shortcomings, mistakes, and struggles."

~ "Christmas Therapy" 

by Karen Katafiasz

Still Abidin'

.            *             .

August Break :: 5 Years Ago

Capturing my heart from the start, 

my sweet niece arrived on January 26, 2011. 

She has already gifted me with oodles and oodles 

(and oodles!) 

of warm memories and 

I will always treasure this shared, quiet moment 

after her baptism in particular. 

The whole time I held her, 

my precious blonde angel 

kept looking up at me, 

her beautiful blue eyes 

wide and rarely blinking. 

And with all of the love overflowing from my heart, 

I met and held her sweet baby gaze 

and kept looking right back at her 

for as long as she wanted. 

Ah, such a holy, cherished moment, this one. 

Is there such a thing as love at first sight? 

Yes. 

Oh, *heavens* yes. 

💕

#augustbreak2016

.            *            .

July 12 :: Sunglasses

The girls have their sunglasses on, 

are buckled up tight, and headed to work. 

It was a hot one this morning.

But as for Miss Rachel Bear and me?

We're cool as cucumbers. 

😎 😉

.             *             .

Everyday Beauty :: Purple

You are Enough

(For reals 💜)

#everydaybeauty 

.             *            .

Tee-ball

Our Dax Attack!

My sweet girlie

2 girlies sharing Aunt Deb's hat.  :)

My other sweet girlie

Watching an ant on the playground

.             *              .

April Love :: Day 29 :: Sanctuary

Dear Sanctuary,

Feeling frazzled and fried from a tough interaction at work and sensing a need for some 

soothing water time yesterday afternoon, I drove by my favorite little pond, a few 

neighborhoods down. This was the first time I've actually ever gotten out and, sitting on 

a cheerful red metal bench near water's edge, I took it all in.

Mallard ducks and Canadian geese swimming and snacking, smooth as glass water except 

for the ripples around my feathered companions, gentle splashing as one of them took a 

bath using a nearby bush as a shower curtain, and the big, beautiful, sky-blue bowl of sky 

holding all of us. 

A warm smile spread as I noticed the deep, calming breaths start to rise and fall 

on their own. ❤

That blessed pocket of Sanctuary was exactly what I needed in that moment to begin 

the unfolding which continues this morning. 

Sometimes it just takes a while, yes?

Yes.

Gratefully, 

Debbie

who is Abidin'

#aprillove2016

.                *               .

Abide and Trust in Love

The beautiful foursome of charming angels was my favorite Christmas gift from hubby this 

year and they are circled around, ever-so-gently leaning over, my sweet little red oil lamp, 

bought at a lovely Grist Mill turned pottery shop about an hour's drive away from here.  (If 

you follow me here, you'll know that it was "rent" for time spent in my favorite porch swing 

away from home.  You may already know this story, too.)

This beautiful tableau has been gathered since Christmas day. Smiling because it didn't take 

long for me to realize, 

Oh!!! 

So *this* is what 

Abide, 

my word for this year, 

looks like for me..... 

intentionally placing myself 

in the midst of cherished beloveds 

and allowing them to tend and love me, 

while practicing trusting that they want to. 

All that is required of me in that (this) moment 

is to rest in their caring presence.

For this?  

I am deeply grateful.

.             *              .

Abiding in Grace

I've been walking thru a pretty tough ol' time for awhile now.  Along with some old grief 

surfacing in an unexpected and fiercer way than usual, I have a new supervisor who's trying 

to force (and hotwire) a closeness between us.  Smiling softly because this is actually a pretty interesting turn of events.  Usually it's been me who's longing and, yes, pushing for more 

closeness.  

While I know in my heart of hearts she means well (just as I always did) and I do have hope 

that, in time, we will find our way to a good working relationship, the reality of right now is 

I'm finding it all smothering, frustrating and extremely draining.  Plus I've been triggered a 

lot lately which has just added to the painful difficulty of it all.  This is so not how I want to 

show up. 

Still, I'm quite clear that my resources are very limited right now and that my hands are full 

tending to my own weary and grieving heart.  In a way it's a gift that I'm so spent, making it 

easier for me to truly understand and accept that, messy and imperfect as it all is, I just don't 

have any room on my plate to take care of her, too.  So, as best I can in each moment, I gently 

remind myself that it's ok to let all of that go for right now. 

What I also know is I took care of my Moma in an unhealthy way and this is an opportunity 

to practice saying some important and firm "no's" that I wasn't able to when I was younger.  

This is a skill I want and need in my life and the only way I'm going to learn it is to practice.    

Today I wanted to continue feeling calm and supported after yesterday's lovely dental visit.  

It was *amazing* to me how much time spent in the presence of a kind angel in human form 

helped to shift things for me. 

This evening, I spent some quiet time in meditation, being still and Abiding in Grace.  

(Abide is my word for this year and Grace is my fond nickname for my higher power.)  

It warms my heart so much to see my face so relaxed.  

Ah, so maybe all of this really will pass, too. 

And, maybe, just maybe it already is.

May it be so.

.            *            .

Seeing and Being With the Truth

Yesterday was a *tough* day at work. 

Today I had a dental appointment and I'm smiling because that was actually a blessing. I *love* 

my hygienist! She's such a warm, caring, and kind person. And today? She was also a gentle tear catcher, attentive listener, and willing hugger, so it was such a gift to spend time with her. 

(The good report was nice as well.) 

Before I was called back to see her, I took a moment to still and Water My Soul by truly seeing myself, rough edges and all, in their bathroom mirror.

(And so grateful that today was a much better day. ♥ )

.              *               .

Luminous March :: Spirit

#embodiedterrain

.             *              .

Purple Pal

Today I am grateful 

for a happy mug 

cheerfully reminding me 

of a lovely birthday week 

almost 14 (!!) years ago 

coupled with

 lots of Saturday afternoon room 

with plenty of space 

for both hubby and me 

to 

spread out, 

breathe, 

and be. 

.            *            .