Workday Break = Breathing Space

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April Love :: Day 29 :: Sanctuary

Dear Sanctuary,

Feeling frazzled and fried from a tough interaction at work and sensing a need for some 

soothing water time yesterday afternoon, I drove by my favorite little pond, a few 

neighborhoods down. This was the first time I've actually ever gotten out and, sitting on 

a cheerful red metal bench near water's edge, I took it all in.

Mallard ducks and Canadian geese swimming and snacking, smooth as glass water except 

for the ripples around my feathered companions, gentle splashing as one of them took a 

bath using a nearby bush as a shower curtain, and the big, beautiful, sky-blue bowl of sky 

holding all of us. 

A warm smile spread as I noticed the deep, calming breaths start to rise and fall 

on their own. ❤

That blessed pocket of Sanctuary was exactly what I needed in that moment to begin 

the unfolding which continues this morning. 

Sometimes it just takes a while, yes?

Yes.

Gratefully, 

Debbie

who is Abidin'

#aprillove2016

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Cultivating Enough :: Day 8 :: Boundaries

Years ago a wise one, who knew and loved me well, made the keen observation that my eye 

for detail is so well tuned that I notice details without even realizing it. She said that the 

things I notice are just "there" for me (so it's not something I'm seeking out) and that most 

of the folks around me simply don't see what I see. (And so they are able to let them go, 

sometimes a whole heckuva a lot easier than I am).

I've noticed lately that, once again, I've been tempted to pull off my path and get stuck in the

ditch ruminating about what I'm noticing that could be improved, especially at work. Smiling 

softly because with my wiring and conditioning, this one may be a lifelong journey for me so 

even that becomes a practice. Can I be gentle with myself when noticing this old pattern 

coming up in me again?

I am growing quite fond of this mug and it's quirky little angel playfully reminding me to 

"Water Seeds, Pull Weeds" and so I'm asking her to be my guide and teacher in the next 

little while.

I want to focus on what is going well and water those seeds rather than getting stuck in the 

weeds, *especially* those I can do nothing about, simply don't have the time, energy, or 

patience for, and/or are not mine to tend to.

It dawned on me this morning (so I had a spiritual awakening) that it really comes down to intentionally practicing my word for the year, Abide. By making a conscious choice (again 

and again if need be) about *where* I want my attention, dear heart and beautiful soul to 

Abide, and then honoring my choice, I am setting and holding internal boundaries.

Of course, there are times when weeding needs to be done. I just want to use care and be 

mindful of when I might be stuck in a ditch, overgrown with weeds. So a playful example 

would be, "Whoops! That's a weed, Deb, not a seed!" 

With the help of my Gardening Angel, Mama Grace, Auntie Mercy, Hope and Peace, may I 

become a good winnower, one who is learning the art of separating the seeds from the weeds.

#cultivatingenough

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Cultivating Enough :: Day 4 :: Gratitude

Had a doctor's appointment today and, knowing they expected my late arrival, rather than 

drive straight in to work, I decided to take the scenic route and practice not feeling one ounce 

of guilt.  

It was a gorgeous morning, unseasonably mild temps, deep blue sky cradling big, puffy 

white clouds, sunshine sparkling on the calm, muddy brown water and, as I was turning 

around my car, I was beyond delighted to discover Canadian geese gathered on water's edge 

not far from me. 

Looking back at this photo this evening brings a warm smile and in my mind's eye I am sitting 

in the little wooden park bench, warming and feeding this water baby's soul (again). 

And it is Enough.

#cultivatingenough

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Blessing Basking :: Day 5

Today I am *deeply* grateful 

for my sweet Fall companion,

a very wise and gentle teacher indeed.

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Nourishing with 5 Deep Breaths

Taking a moment 

on an unusually busy workday 

to stop 

and nourish myself 

with 5 Deep Breaths 

along with my lunch. 

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One Self care Move ~ Standing in My Light

So, as you may already know, I've been having a difficult time at work for a long while now. Thursday night, hoping I might find some insightful wisdom to hold on to, I picked up a book that has been helpful in the past and started flipping thru dog-eared pages. I stopped when I happened to find (or did they find me?) some starred and underlined words (ah, so they've spoken to me before).

This quote is one of those "lighthouse in the storm" types for me, gently providing a guiding light for a way to "be" with it all, including my deep disappointment at some uninstigated-by-me distance in a relationship I have long cherished. I typed it out yesterday morning and have been reading thru it over and over (and over), and each time I do, I get a little stronger in my sense of self (and worthiness) (and Enough-ness).

It brought a soft smile to realize this quote is all about practicing "Standing in My Light" for me .... it's a gentle example of *how* to stand right where I am (as best I can in each moment) rather than, as Brene Brown says, hustling for someone else's approval.

The words are from "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work" by Richard Carlson and the title of this particular essay is "Accept the Fact that There's Almost Always Going to be Somebody Mad at You."

"And when you know it's inevitable, 

your gut reaction to the disappointment 

is going to be much more peaceful. 

…you'll maintain your bearings and remain 

compassionate. You'll understand that there's 

simply nothing you can do -- other than your best. 

You didn't intend for it to happen, and you did 

everything you knew …, yet it happened. 

And it will happen again. It's time to let it go. 

And in letting go, you will find peace.

(My word for this year is Peace and what a lovely new way to practice)

♥

I hesitate to say this too loudly so this is me whispering....

It seems my friend at work made a small movement back towards me yesterday. While a bit stunned (I just found the lighthouse-for-me quote above 2 days ago and was starting to settle in with it!), it was very nice to have the unexpected surprise of a couple of light-hearted moments with him again. And, for the first time in months, he actually met my gaze with a teensy bit of a genuine smile.

One *very* important self-care move for me is, as best I can, to stay in today (and under my skin) and try not get too caught up in what might or might not happen on Monday (and forever after).

Another act of self-care is to name it here.... to help me remember.

Blessed be.

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Life is like a camera . . . .

Saw this on Facebook 

and am very grateful for it's 

wise advice.

I think I shall keep it close 

both 

as our office moves from

tax season to billing season 

and

as we prepare for our visit

to see my family next month.

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Affirmation ~ Today I Will Wait . . .

For whatever reasons, I've tended toward anxiousness in my life so rather than waiting, my first response is to do something, anything!  I've learned over time and experience that this isn't always (usually) the best way to go about things.  Intentionally slowing down and actively waiting can be very hard for me, especially when it's been awhile and/or I'm feeling *really* anxious.

All that to say that this affirmation isn't always the easiest one for me to pick up again.  But, as I've found with so much of Melody Beattie's writing, if I'll patiently stay with it, as best I can in that moment, her words eventually begin to sink in, soothing and nourishing the ragged, parched places in me.

This "affirmation" is taken straight from her book, The Language of Letting Go:

Today, I will wait, if waiting is

the action I need in order to 

take care of myself.  I will

know that I am taking a 

positive, forceful action by

waiting until the time is right.

God, help me let go of my fear, 

urgency and panic.  Help

me learn the art of waiting 

until the time is

right.  Help me

learn timing.

I found a full version of her beautifully wise reading here.

May we all learn how to take good care of ourselves by practicing waiting (when that's appropriate).

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Affirmation ~ Life is a Process . . .

This little post-card sized "affirmation" has been sitting on my desk "altar" for awhile now.  It's been good medicine to read it as I wait for my screen to load or for a report to run.

Life is a process that 

includes problems that can't

always be easily resolved.

How refreshing to learn that

I don't have to resolve every

conflict today.  I can simply 

let conflicts be, focus on 

peaceful images and think 

loving thoughts instead.

It is based on the meditation from July 18 in the book, A Life of My Own, by Karen Casey.  (I was unable to google a copy of her wise meditation in it's entirety)

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Affirmation ~ Detachment is the Wonderful Gift . . .

The first time I posted one of my affirmations, someone commented that she didn't think she could memorize like I did.  Smiling because I'm not sure I could remember them either, especially when in the thick of it, unless I had them written down.  In fact, I've enjoyed creating little "post cards" with them using clip art and fonts that make me happy, just like this picture.  

I've recently needed to go back to this affirmation in particular so I thought I'd share it here this week.  It comes from the reading for May 3 in the book, Courage to Change: One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II:

"Detachment is the wonderful gift of

allowing my loved ones the privilege

and opportunity of being themselves.

Today I am learning to experience

my own fear, grief, & anguish.  This

helps me to be willing to trust the

same growth process in others, 

because I know first hand about the

gifts it can bring.

Sometimes it is more loving to allow

someone else to experience the

natural consequences of their 

actions, even when it is painful for

us both.  In the long run, both of us

will benefit.  Today I will put love

first in my life.

All I have to do is keep my hands off

& turn my heart on."

(emphasis mine)

I haven't used this one in awhile so it's taking some time to re-memorize it.  I'm smiling as I type because I know from working with them in the past, that repetition is very good medicine.  Each time I say it, it's calm wisdom sinks in a little deeper, reassuring me that all is well.

Again, my affirmations aren't necessarily word-for-word.  Sometimes I will paraphrase them so that they make more sense and are more powerful for me.  If you'd like to see the original version, you can view it here.

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