Swinging, Savoring, Remembering

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Token of Affection

It was a *gorgeous,* sunny morning today and, knowing this beautiful time of year is so short, I was taking more photos of the Four Sisters. It brought a very big grin to see this little token of their affection softly drift down and land on my windshield. 

So, of course I brought their thoughtful gift in with me to work. 

❤️

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WOYH :: Small Scrapes and Bruises

This is my third time to take Kira Elliott's Writing to Open Your Heart workshop and I'm *really* enjoying the writing, companionship, and Kira's gentle way of helping to put the writers at ease and providing a safe container for us.  

I wanted to share my favorite piece that came out of last night's writing prompts.

From Memory or Imagination, write about Small Scrapes and Bruises

She’d had a lot done and so she was used to the big scars on her body… well, mostly. These new ones were so small she wasn’t really even sure they should count. Still, the hairline red scrapes and purple-yellowish bruises weren’t going away and it had been 6 weeks since she fell.

Sipping her almost-too hot chamomile tea, she sunk a little deeper into her deep blue tweed covered rocker recliner. This morning ritual of hers was one of the deep pleasures in her life. Setting her cheerful hand-painted mug with the bright red poppies down, she leaned back, closed her eyes and started to rock. It brought a soft smile to her face to hear the old familiar creak as the chair, which used to be her father’s, soothingly rocked back and forth. Almost without thinking about it, she gently rubbed the fingers of her left hand over the still tender places on her right forearm.

Taking a deep breath, she welcomed a moment to savor the calming effect of her quiet time before her busy day started. While it wasn’t easy at first, with time, practice, and patience, she had gotten quite good at letting everything that was tugging at her be while she relished these few precious minutes. Grinning to herself, she was actually proud of how some days? It had become a game, this letting things be just as they are. What was it her mama used to always say to her? “Girl, this ain’t brain surgery. You can let loose of that one!”

As they always did, thoughts of her mother brought a whole basket of bittersweet memories to her heart. Gracious, she missed her mama! Had it really been almost 19 years ago that she died from liver cancer? Some days it felt like it all happened yesterday.

Taking a peek at the clock, she realized she only had five more minutes. Well, unless she skipped her morning shower, as she often did. Weighing the day ahead and the refreshment she was gaining by just rocking and being, she decided to sit for another 15 minutes.  But after that she knew that she absolutely had to get up and get started on the rest of her day. 

.            *             .

Fast Falls the Eventide

6:21 p.m.

7:06 p.m.

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Week 8 :: Beginning to Let Go

And so Little Sister's releasing begins. 

(It feels holy somehow 

to continue to stay with her 

thru this process as well)

 ❤️

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Fall Beauty

 

It was still rainy and gray this morning.

Making the 4 Sisters breathtakingly beautiful.

I am especially partial to the Northern Sister, Michael right now.

It's hard to tell but the base of her trunk is gorgeous. 

A close up of her.

(I know you can't really tell so I'll keep trying)

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Blackout Poetry

I tried Blackout Poetry with some friends and this one was my fave:

Invade

Take over senses

Free and open 

emotion to understanding 

Twister weather

Teaching tricks

Showcasing 

Wishes to learn

Their own makeup 

...

I so enjoyed this!! 

But can I just say that all 3 of my pieces still *reek* of sharpies? So much so that I still have to keep them at an arm's length distance (at least). 

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Morning Soccer Game

Our soccer star

(not sure what he's doing with his hand

but when I said "let me take your picture"

that's how he posed)

Hanging out on the sidelines.

(All of our littles have worn this 

cute little pumpkin shirt)

Playing around with our yellow bandanas.

I sure do love my girlies.

(But you already knew that, yes?)

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Autumn Ball Gowns

More lovelies around my work 

are starting to dress for this year's Autumn dance.

This beauty lives down the street.

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Homecoming

Today after work

I sat outside in my swing

for about an hour.

Bliss.

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Week 7 :: She's Peaked!

Lookie what Miss Pretty has been up to

while we were on vacation!

(Smiling softly because I had visions

of coming back to her with half of her leaves gone)

I'm feeling so grateful I decided to follow "my" sweet tree companion 7 weeks ago.  It's been lovely to watch her patient progress and also such a powerful, quietly gentle reminder for me that sometimes transformation takes time and when it does? Even when it doesn't feel like it, change is still happening. In the last few days, our journey together has reminded me of why I love Advent so very much.

While I'm not sure that I'll still be sharing weekly pictures of her now that she's peaked, I'm thinking I will continue to watch and witness her way of being in her world.  My thought being that offering my presence by quietly witnessing the process of losing her leaves, too, it might just be quite a touching blessing for me as well.  Continuing to watch her, with my eyes wide open, feels like a gentle invitation to also witness and be with my own discomfort with the barren times in my life, both past and present. 

May it be so.

.            *           .

The Hard Part

Safe journeys and traveling Mercies. 

We love you!

.              *               .

Studying. . .

. . . on how to get my porch swing put back up. 

Big yay! 

(Fingers, eyes, and toes crossed that it works!)

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Friday

Went to Stone Mountain today

and the sun was bright.

I'm grateful for the few photos I have

of Daddy and me

so I'll be trying to get a few more.

Feeling some frustration

by all of the indecision

and "whatever you want to do,"

I lagged behind.

Looked up

and saw the sun.

Driving across the covered bridge

Reminding myself to breathe.

Went to bed before everyone else

and now I'm taking a moment

to breathe

to be

and

to remember.

One day down.

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Week 6

Her dress is looking more red.

(Took this one on Tuesday afternoon

as it was the last time I'd see her this week)

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A Very Good Start

Lookie who we found at the airport.  :)

My sweet Daddy enjoying our back patio

It's been a good day

and I was in bed by 8:45.

(We were all tired!)

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A Daddy's Love

In the arms of my Daddy.

Saying good-bye at the airport, he's holding me as I cry

while patting me and speaking the soothing words

he knows to say.

While it sometimes feels like he's trying to stop me 

because I'm "too big" once again

(and there is probably a piece of that in there

as my emotions are much deeper than 

he knows how to care for and tend),

this morning I realize 

that it may just be 

that he's trying to help get me buttoned back up 

so that I can leave him

and head home.

(tears)

.            *            .

My Daddy flies in this afternoon for a visit with his girlfriend, Brenda.  While hubby and I usually fly back annually, this is his first trip over in 12 years.  He turns 75 in December, so part of me is very aware that this may be his last trip here.  

In preparation, I've been quite busy over the last few months physically getting ready by cleaning, tidying, and letting go of things and our house feels so good.  Last night in our writing group without fully realizing it, I was emotionally and spiritually preparing by writing the piece below.  Our prompt was:  "From memory or imagination, write about a fragment."  As I read it to our group, I was surprised by the tears that arose... well, perhaps not really.  Tweaking it just a bit, tears arise again this morning.

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With a flourish she adds the final swirls of the billowy chocolate frosting on the rich, Devils food cake and steps back for a moment to admire her work.  She loves to bake and these last touches are her favorite part. 

Smoothing a stray strand out of her eyes, she thinks to herself, “maybe a fragment is enough.”  She’s made the last 20 of her father’s 75 birthday cakes and, deep down, she knows that he does love her.  Maybe it’s not to the depth she’d like and perhaps it isn’t to the extent that he loves her other siblings (or is it a simple matter of “able to show?”), but he’s always hugged her warmly when they greet after being apart.

Absent mindedly licking the sweet icing off of the side of her hand, she remembers the day in the airport many years ago, one of the few times she’s ever seen her father cry, and it was as he was saying, “I really want to get out to see you again, sis.”  Remembering that “sis” is his fond name for his girls, she smiles softly and, in the moment, she knows in her heart that, in his own, imperfect way, he does love her.

Can that fragment be enough?  Gathering the measuring cups and spoons into the now empty white, glass mixing bowl, she reminds herself that this might be the last time he ever comes this way.  Can she let what slice of love she has glimpsed over the years, be Enough?

She sure hopes so and she knows that only time shall tell.

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Grateful for your witness.

Your warm thoughts, love and prayers 

over the next 5 days would be most welcome.

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Morning Welcome

Rocking and welcoming my angels 

with the soothing warmth of a mug of chai tea.

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Cherished Companions

Wise anchors. 

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Patient Poise

She and me.

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Gentle Guardian

Gentle guardian still watches while lights are out at work.

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Thankful Tuesday :: Heath

Taking an intentional moment during my annual physical 

to be grateful that these days? 

It's all routine. 

❤️

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Preparations

My Daddy and his girlfriend 

are coming for a visit next week!

It's his first trip here in 12 years.

To prepare, I've been cleaning 

and doing some winnowing 

that I've been wanting to do for a very long time.

I just love the looks of 

an organized linen closet!

Let you in on a little secret?

I was dreading doing our fridge.

But now that it's done

big sighs come every time 

I open these doors, too.

And the best part?

My home will still be neat and tidy

after their visit

so it was/is for me, too.

Tidiness truly is self-care for me.

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My Beautiful Fall Companion

She's beginning to share glimpses 

of the beautiful, deep red 

of her final Fall frock 

on the bottom left.

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