Saturday, August 3, 2013

First Step :: I am a Dancer


I am an almost 36-year bone cancer survivor.  Because of many, *many* surgeries and *major* complications with big-time infections, most of my femur (thigh bone) has been removed.  As a result, my left leg is about 8" shorter than my right.  My crutches, Bert and Ernie :), are constant companions, helping me to take each step.

It's not easy for me to look at this photo (hmmmm, tears are pricking) . . . 

But as I do, I am smiling tenderly remembering how a friend has called my left one a beautiful dancer's leg.  Seeing me here, dressed in my favorite flowing, pale lavender summer nightgown with the morning light softly shining on me, I can see what she sees.  It is such a blessed gift.

The thing I miss the very *most* about being on crutches -- and sometimes still deeply a-c-h-e for -- is the joyful freedom found in dancing, especially the Texas two-step and waltzes.  

Yet I have often sensed that my love for dancing has gifted me with an ability to walk well, seemingly effortlessly with my crutches.  (ok, so years of practice probably doesn't hurt either :) )

All that to say being named and seen -- and seeing myself! -- as a beautifully graceful dancer, still, touches my heart deeply.  

26 comments:

  1. I can only hope that I'd have as much grace after surviving something like that...but I kinda doubt it. You are one of my new heroes.

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    1. Thank you, Becky.

      And, friend, we never really know how we will handle something until we are put in that situation (including how long it might take us to "get" to grace...)

      <3

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  2. How inspirational you are, posting this. I don't dance. Ever. Except when I'm home alone. My husband and daughter just went out. I'm going to turn up the radio and dance, just for you. Because being able to, whether I do it or not, is something I really take for granted.
    When I first saw the photo, before reading on, I didn't notice the crutches - I thought it was a picture of a ballet dancer.
    Thanks for sharing x

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    1. Zoe, your words touched me to tears. Thank you. Both for your kindness and for dancing in my honor. <3

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  3. seeing with new eyes...grateful for your sharing. blessings and dance on anyway that works for you...

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    1. Thank you. And I *love* your words, "dance on anyway that works for you."

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  4. A beautifully graceful dancer indeed.
    I can relate to your gift, in my own small way, and this post resonates deeply for me. Thank you for sharing. Keep dancing. ♡

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  5. what a beautiful and brave woman you are....seeing that photo, i didn't realize their were crutches there, either -- only a dancer's pose....

    you have made my soul smile today...

    xo

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  6. Beautiful dancer your heart is shining grace and light on all of us!

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  7. Beautifully, gracefully shared. I too see a beautiful dancer's leg! I love that quote by Phillip Edwards.

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    1. Thank you, Cindye.

      And it's a *great* quote, isn't it? It was love at first read for me. By the way, if you haven't already and would like to know more of the story of how I found it, I talk about it in my very first post on this blog. :)

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  8. Beautiful post! Love your photo and insights, Dancer!

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  9. You are beautiful... thank you for sharing your story..

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  10. You make me want to dance on your behalf. Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. xo

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    1. Thank you, Effy, and another great big thank you for your blog challenge! <3

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  11. You look so graceful Debbie - thank you for sharing - it was just what I needed to read today ...

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    1. It was my pleasure, Fil, and I'm so glad . . . <3

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  12. Yes, that picture looks like a dancer's pose to me too. There are all sorts of dances, and Texas doesn't have a lock on them. Not all dances are done with the body

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    1. Rene, I'm smiling. You are very right .... :)

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  13. Go to YouTube and find classic Indian dance, Balinesian dance and, of course, Hawaiin hula. They are heavy in arm and hand and even FACE dancing and you could enjoy dancing again!
    In Balinesian dance there are something like 61 facial movements and at least that many arm movements AND that many hand movements!

    This is my favorite YouTube explaining Balinese dance. Never mind the leg movements, notice the expressive upper body.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqaHaHYNo6o

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