Gratitude ~ Thoughts and Practices

The very real truth is that gratitude can be really, *really* tricky for me.  

There were times in my past that it was sometimes used as a silencer.  So rather than be invited (and taught) to sit with and feel the hard, messy, shadow feelings, I was sometimes encouraged/bullied to think of what I was grateful for, often *wa-a-a-a-y* before I was ready. 

Today, for the most part, I do know that it really wasn't about me, simply an attempt to ease their own discomfort (and inabilities).

.     *     .

In years past, I've made angels and the week before Thanksgiving I'd send them to a few dear folks who had been especially kind to me that year.  Along with their angel, I would also tuck in a note naming the ways they had been an angel for me and why I was counting them as one of my blessings that year.  Adoring snail mail as I do, I loved the idea of them finding a wonderful surprise in their mailbox during the quieter time of Thanksgiving. 

A very unexpected side-effect of my Thanksgiving angel practice was how *grateful* I felt afterwards. I also realized that I didn't feel so alone in my struggles which, with my history of bone cancer as a teen, was a real healing blessing.  So, she says with a soft smile, I do *know* the power of practicing gratitude. Thru experience, what I also know is that I want to use great care in when and how I use it.

For the past several years, it's become my practice to name one blessing every day in November and use that as my Facebook status.  I love to write and I find this gives me an opportunity to practice a bit plus it does help to keep me focused on the blessings in my life during what tends to be an intense time for me at work.  Some days (this week!), it's felt a bit like faking it 'til I make it and that's ok, too, because I'm clear on my intention --> I want to notice and bask in the very real blessings that *are* here. 

(This is me trustin' that simply showing up is Enough)

.     *     .