November Remembrance ~ Day 2 of 40

It's interesting that "Wrestle" came with today's names.

And that Blessing has a home snuggled up next

to St. Joseph right now.

A timely, visual reminder of 

Jacob wrestling with the angel

until he received his blessing.

Viola used to help with the family housekeeping

and meal preparation when my Daddy was a youngster.

As a teen, we re-connected with her 

and, on our first visit,

we began calling her 

Grandma Viola at my initiative.

(Always the Grandma magnet here :) )

Viola and I exchanged letters which delighted 

my pen pal's heart.

But. 

As our relationship drew on,

there was a lot of pressure coming from her 

about when and how often I wrote.

It got to the point where I felt resentful 

and didn't want to write to her anymore.

For whatever reasons, I was unable to let go.

So the reality is that there is some "ick" that arises 

when I think of her.

Ah, more wrestling to be done.  

Which is why I included her...

a gentle reminder that healing 

can and does continue after one of us 

has passed beyond the veil.

Dexter was my first angel.

The ambulance had just deposited me back in the hospital,

a place I did not want to be

but I was very sick so it's where I needed to be.

Being still so new to Georgia

and a brand new bride, I wanted to get on with my life.

I didn't want to have to continue to fight

the massive infection.

It was the worst I'd experienced

and second worst the doctor at Emory,

who traveled around the world teaching 

about how to treat big-time infections,

had ever seen. 

Sobbing from the excruciating pain 

(both the worst bodily pain I'd ever been in

but also deep, emotional pain) 

in my new bed on the wrong floor, 

Dexter arrived.

I held out my hand and he just held it 

for me as I cried, 

and I cried,

and I cried.

A couple of times I tried to stop crying

but he told me, "No!  You need to cry."

Not only was he right, 

he stayed with me until I was done.

Smiling softly as Wrestle fits for him, too.

The only time I ever saw him again

was the day his rotation ended.

He had come to apologize that he hadn't been

back to see me, saying that he just couldn't 

bring himself to come back.

A kind gesture to be sure.

And yet it didn't matter to me.

What *did* matter was he was there

when I most needed him to be.  

So while he may have wrestled,

I did not.

I tried to stay in touch with him,

she adds sadly, but he never wrote back.

So I let him go.  

I wish him well in his continued ministry.

Blessed be.

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