Keeping Watch

Angels and candles have been a soothing comfort for me for a long, long while.

Being an (almost) 36-year bone cancer survivor, there have been many, many lonely days, weeks and months in my life.  Lots of them were spent in a sick bed, both in the hospital and at home, and, because of the length of my various recuperations, the harsh reality was that someone couldn't be there for, and with, me 24/7.  I (mostly) understood why I had to be alone for most of those uncertain and often scary times.  

But.  That didn't make them easy.  

In time, I began to lean heavily and grab onto the cherished tradition of our Communion of Saints, the belief that all of us - past, present, and future - make up one active and alive caring "communion" or family.

Knowing that, for whatever reasons, the folks in my life couldn't be there with me like I needed, I took great comfort in the thought of angels surrounding me, watching over me and protecting me.  I especially cherished the idea that some of my angels were dearly beloveds who had already passed on and who's love for me was still there (here).  Part of my hope and my practice was that because they didn't have the daily burden of worries and concerns of the humans walking around with me, they had more "room" for me.  More love, too.

In time, I grew to really love and draw comfort from the idea of someone (or *lots* of someones!) watching over me.  And it makes sense, really, with all that I've been thru.  

Something else I cherish from my spiritual roots is the practice of lighting candles.  Smiling softly because it's still one of my favorite things to do and when I go to church I always make sure I have a few candle-lighting coins in my pocket for afterwards.  There's something very spirit-quenching for me about intentionally, prayerfully lighting a candle, thinking of my loved one as I do.  When I quietly slip off towards home, I know I can leave my concerns there and they (and me) will be held and watched over by Mama Grace, Auntie Mercy and their angels.

Years ago, a very dear friend's mom was visiting and they had a lighted candle in the kitchen with them as they worked together.  When I first asked about it, "Gramma" told me that it was just like the candles we light in church.  She said the light was meant to be a prayer, reminding them each time they caught sight of the flame of [Grace's] presence and that She would hold their concerns and loved ones as they worked.

I *loved* this idea of being able to bring an intentional candle lighting practice into my own home.  Smiling fondly because when I'm baking, especially for Christmas, I will often light a candle in my kitchen to remind me of those I love, especially those who've passed on (and yet are still with me and only a thought away), and any prayer concerns I might have on that particular day.

I love the picture above because it combines two very precious traditions, passed down from my lineage, and have become important practices my own.

Smiling softly because the day I took the photo was a rough one and I had surrounded myself with five pairs of both an angel and a candle.  All were very good and welcomed company and, along with some quiet music, my journal and some time, the pain eased.  Truly, once again, my holy company gently helped usher in some much needed peace.

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